MENAECHMI
PERSONAE:
Narrator Paulus Lucius Stellus Rippel
Magister Scaenae: the stage manager – Silenus Burwell
Menaechmus I: a young man living in Epidamnus – Rufus Tacitus Jaynes
Domina Menaechma: his wife – Zoe Aemilia Watson
Senex: Menaechmus’ father-in-law – Poppaea Nammack
Anus Rugosa: (“Wrinkly Old Lady”) Senex’s second wife – Scribonia Burman
Peniculus: (“Sponger”), parasite companion of Menaechmus I – Natalia Staples
Freniculus: (”Curber”), companion of Menaechmus I – Maximus Mendez-Roca
Erotia: Menaechmus I’s very pretty neighbor – Trebius Brownstein
Ebria Venera: another of Menaechmus’ neighbors, living next door to Erotia – Tresviae Rosenbluth
Cylindra: Erotia’s cook – Christiana Zurbach
Quadrata: Cylindrus’ assistant – Zoe Samett.
Triangula: Erotia’s elegant fan girl – Maria Clara Hayes
Semi-Cona: Erotia’s attendant – Octavia Poppaea Gutierrez
Menaechmus II: Menaechmus I’s twin brother from Syracuse – Maximus Tullius Tucker
Caca Columba: Menaechmus II’s servant – Stella Thompson
Gibber Gubbosa Ancilla: servant to Domina Menaechma – Catalina Picariello
Medicus: (“Doctor”) – Gaudia Emerson
Clemens: Domina Menaechma’s servant – Petrus Miller
Grumio: another strong slave – Christiana Zurbach
ACT I
NARRATOR: (entering) welcome, welcome, welcome! (waits for audiene to respond).
(graciously and exaggeratedly gesturing) First, from the very outset, I wish myself and
you, dear spectators, a gracious good welcome. Now, if you’ll listen and pay
attention, I’ll bring you in as few words as possible, I promise, Plautus’ play’s
premise...... welcome.
MAGISTER SCAENAE: (in a tunic and hat and vest, interrupting the Narrator, at first over to the side,
then shooting him a panic “veni huc!” signa
PSST! PSST!
NARRATOR: (trying to ignore Stage Manager, waving him off) welcome......
MAGISTER SCAENAE: PSSSSSSST!!!!!
NARRATOR: tace, stulte!
MAGISTER SCAENAE: (shouting) veni huc, imbecille!!
NARRATOR: (embarrassed, to audience) So sorry, just one moment. (going off to one side to confer
with Stage Manager. Lots of gesticulating and pantomimed shouting.)
MAGISTER SCAENAE: (getting the last word) memento: hic est commedia lingua Latina!!
NARRATOR: (starting over, looking sheepish and casting sideways glances at Stage Manager)
salvete, salvete, salvete.
(GAUDIA): Would you like to buy some whipped cream?
MAGISTER SCAENAE: Pardon? LINGUA LATINA!!
NARRATOR: abi, asinella! (she gets dragged off with a stage hookl)
MAGISTER SCAENAE: optime, optime. (leaves stage, after nodding approval).
NARRATOR: erant olim mercator senex et uxor. Syracusae habitabant. gemellos habebant,
Menaechmus et Sosicles. sed catastrophe advenit! Menaechmus evanuit. piratae
eum Epidamnum portaverunt. pater dolore mortuus est, et avus Sosiclem
“Menaechmum” appellavit.
(Meanwhile, Christiana, Petrus, Gaudia, Catalina, and Morgane will pantomime the actions.)
haec est urbs Epidamnus. (gesturing to city around)
hic habitat Menaechmus et uxor. (points to Menaechmus’s house, left door)
hic habitat Erotia, femina valde formosa! (making hour-glass gesture, points to right door)
ecce! veniunt Peniculus et Freniculus. (as P. & F., the parasite & his side-kick, enter.)
PENICULUS: ego sum “Peniculus.”
FRENICULUS: (broad aside to the audience) “peniculus” est “parasita.”
PENICULUS: (gigantic shrug of agreement) ebbene, parasita sum! ego sum amicus Menaechmi.
FRENICULUS: (bonking him on the head) nos sumus amici Menaechmi!!
PENICULUS: (in astonishment and clearly vexed) oy yoi! nos sumus amici Menaechmi!
FRENICULUS: (pointing to the right door) hic habitat pulchra Erotia.
MENAECHMUS I: (exiting, slamming the door, and raising a fist to someone behind the window
curtains) pessima uxor! divortium volo!! semper loquitur....
DOMINA MENAECHMA: (sticking her head out the window and screeching) MENAECHME!!!!!!
PENICULUS: (parroting her) Menaechme!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: (screaming) UBI ES?!!!
FRENICULUS: (sarcastically echoing) ubi es?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: QUO IS?!!!!
PENICULUS: (repeating) quo is?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: QUID FACIS?!!!!!
FRENICULUS: (mockingly) quid facis?
- 2 -
MENAECHMUS I: (in despair) oy yoi!! oy yoi!! pessima uxor! (sweetly blowing a kiss to his w
vale, mea columba!
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: domina! ubi est palla tua? eam non video!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: venio subito!!
(as she disappears from sight, Menaechmus I raspberries her. then, to the audience)
MENAECHMUS I: whew! stupida asina! EUGE! liber sum. (pulls a dress from under
his tunic.)
PENICULUS: (starting to take the dress) o, gratias tibi ago....
MENAECHMUS I: non est tibi, stulte!
FRENICULUS: est mihi? (goes to take the dress before he, too, is bonked on the head).
MENAECHMUS I: (bonking both of them again over the head) Erotiae dabo. cenam bonam
nobis parabit!
PENICULUS: (knocking on Erotia’s door, he is looking at his companions, and he
knocks on her head instead, as she opens the door)
EROTIA: siste stulte! (then noticing Menaehmus) o salve, belle! (espying something which
Menaechmus is holding behind his back). quid habes?
MENAECHMUS I: donum tibi.
EROTIA: (clutching the beautiful tunic to her bosom) o Menaechme, quam bonus es!
EBRIA VENERA: (clearly a little tipsy, even this early in the day, looking on from her next-door
window, mocking Erotia and Menaechmus). quam bonus es! vomitare volo!
FRENICULUS: (aside to the audience) tace, femina crapularia!
EROTIA: (to Mechaemus) palla pulchra es! veni ad cenam!
PENICULUS: amici quoque?
EROTIA: (looks Peniculus and Freniculus up and down, not very impressed, but resignedly) amici
quoque. (calling for her servants) Cylindra, Quadrata! venite huc subito!
CYLINDRA and QUADRATA: (appearing) domina?
EROTIA: emete cibum. parate cenam optimam! abite! abite subito!
CYLINDRA: quis tecum edet?
- 3 -
EROTIA: Menaechmus, Freniculus, et (looking askance at Cylindra) et Peniculus!
CYLINDRA: (in horror) mecastor! aime! aime!! Peniculus!!! edit plus quam tres homines!!
EBRIA VENERA: (piping up again) minime! sex homines! Peniculus est parasita!
PENICULUS and FRENICULUS: tace, femina crapularia!
EROTIA: (pushing Cylindra and Quadraa out the door) festinate! (they exit, and Erotia enters her
house.)
ACT II
(Enter Menaechmus II, followed by Caca Columba, who is struggling with a small sea chest.)
MENAECHMUS II: ecce Epidamnus!
CACA COLUMBA: domine! siste! fessus sum! (puts down the sea chest, looks around) ubi sumus?
EBRIA VENERA: (out her window, helpfully to C.C., not seeing Menaechmus II) Epidamnus.
CACA COLUMBA: Epidamnus? Epidamnus? domine, damnati sumus!
MENAECHMUS II: tace, stupide! certe, Epidamnus est et damnati non sumus!
CACA COLUMBA: cur hic venimus?
MENAECHMUS II: sex annos gemellum meum quaero. (pulls out picture of his twin)
CACA COLUMBA: et sex annos esurio! (rubs his belly pathetically)
MENAECHMUS II: (turning around in exasperation) semper quaerimoniae!
EBRIA VENERA: (catching sight of Menaechmus II) mehercle! yoo-hoo! Menaechme!!
MENAECHMUS II: te cognosco?
EBRIA VENERA: (looking at him as if he were completely nuts) mane ebrius es?
CACA COLUMBA: tace, anus deformis. (she slams the window shut)
MENAECHMUS II: Caca Columba, da mihi pecuniam.
CACA COLUMBA: domine, crumena vacua est (turns big purse upside down and cobwebs fall out).
MENAECHMUS II: edepol! quomodo edemus, pessime serve. (bonks him with the purse)
CACA COLUMBA: siste, domine crudelis!
- 4 -
CYLINDRA: (returning with Quadrata from the forum with the groceries) salve, Menaechme.
MENAECHMUS II: (stupified. looks at him in amazement. Then looks puzzled at Caca Columba)
CACA COLUMBA: populus hic est amicissimus.
QUADRATA: ubi sunt ceteri?
MENAECHMUS II: ceteri?
CYLINDRA: ceteri hospites!
MENAECHMUS II: hospites?
CYLINDRA: (to Quadratus) mecastor. hic homo imbecilus est!
QUADRATA: (to Menaechmus) Peniculus et Freniculus!!
MENAECHMUS II: quis?
QUADRATA: parasitae, parasitae!
CACA COLUMBA: ego non sum parasita! edepol! (to audience) haec homo imbecilla est!
MENAECHMUS II: (trying to wave them away) abite idiotae!!
CYLINDRA: Menaechme, me non cognoscis?
MENAECHMUS II: minime!
QUADRATA: nimium vini bibis.
EBRIA VENERA: (popping her head out) nimium vini?? ubi est vinum?
CYLINDRA and QUADRATA: tace, femina crapularia!
MENAECHMUS II: vos non cognosco.
CYLINDRA: ad cenam non venitis?
CACA COLUMBA: cenam? (to Menaechmus II). domine, nobis oportet cenam edere. ego ieiunus
sum. (rubbing his belly)
EROTIA: (exiting the house with Triangola, the fan-girl, and Semi-Cona, her attendant. Triangola is
fanning her visciously. Semi-Cona is sprinkiling rose-water all around) Menaechme! intra,
intra!
SEMI-COMA: intra, domine, intra. Erotia te diu exspectat.
- 5 -
MENAECHMUS II: (shrugging, to the audience) alia femina insana!
SEMI-CONA: Erotia non insana est! (She sprinkles him right in the face.) intra, impudens, intra!
(Triangola pokes him in the bum to get him to go in.)
EROTIA: (holding up her new palla) tibi placet?
MENAECHMUS II: quid?
TRIANGOLA: haec palla quam ex uxore rapuisti.
MENAECHMUS II: aime, aime! nihil rapui.
EROTIA: nullus momenti est. (looks at Triangola like he’s a little “out of it.”) venite et edite. (she
runs her fingers through Menaechmus II’s hair. He start to melt.....Triangola starts fanning
him like a wind tunnel machine. Then Semi-Cona and Triangola do Stacy’s mom Dance
. Routine.)
CACA COLUMBA:: domine! ieiuna sum!!
MENAECHMUS II: quid? (captivated by Erotia and the dancers, but giving up) quid dicis?
dicebas….palla?
EROTIA: Semi-Cona, ecce palla
SEMI-CONA: (very elegantly) subito, domina. portabo hanc pallam taliatrici.
(sniffing the palla) et purgabo eam.
EROTIA: (to Triangola, who is fanning her right in the face) eripe id, cretina! i secum!
TRIANGOLA: subito, domina. (starts fanning Semi-Cona, like a dummy)
SEMI-CONA: Triangola, siste! (bonks her with the empty bowl.)
MENAECHMUS II: (to Caca Columba):i cum servis. haec femina (pointing to Erotia) est
plane idiota. sed eam delecto. est mihi consilium. mox pecuniam habebimus.
CACA COLUMBA: aime! (to the audience) dominus meus insanus est. feminam delectat?
(Menaechmus raises a hand to hit him.)
SEMI-CONA: quid exspectas, podex?
CACA COLUMBA: puellae, eamus!
EROTIA: et tu, Gibber Gubbosa, porta hoc monile ad orificem.
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: pulchrum est! domina, quid te dedit?
EROTIA: Menaechmus, mi amores!
- 6 –
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: (biting on it to make sure it is real gold) homo insanus est!
(running to catch up with others) est monile uxoris! exspectate me!
ubi est Menaechmus?
ACT III
(enter Peniculus and Freniculus.)
PENICULUS: ecce absumus. sed ubi est Menaechmus? nos evasit et ieiuni sumus.
FRENICULUS: asinum edere possum.
PENICULUS: (bonking him on the head) tu es asinus!
(Enter Menaechmus II, talking into the house).
MENAECHMUS II: cenavi, potavi, lascivivi.
PENICULUS: quam amicus es tu!
MENAECHMUS II: quis es tu?
FRENICULUS: parasitam tuam non cognoscis?
MENAECHMUS II: quid dicis?
PENICULUS: edepol. homo est insanus!
(Enter Gibber Gubbosa Ancilla, espying Menaechmus II)
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: ecce monile aureum. portavi eum ad orificem.
MENAECHMUS II: (shrugging in disbelief to audience) quam felix sum!
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: sunt uxori tuae.
MENAECHMUS II (looks at audience as if she’s crazy) uxor? (mouths) est mihi nulla uxor!
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: celeriter! celeriter! (returning back into the house)
ille homo nugas narrat!
ACT IV
(entering Menaechmus’ wife, Domina Menaechmus. Semi-Cona sees her.)
DOMINA MENAECHMA: eheu! ubi est ille homo perfidus?
SEMI-CONA: palla tua rapuit.
FRENICULUS: (adding) et monile tuum
DOMINA MENAECHMA: palla et monile!! meum maritum pulsabo. sic! sic! et sic! (banging
her hand, one into another).
PENICULUS: oi yoi. miserum Menaechmum!
- 7 -
DOMINA MENAECHMA: est mihi maritus malus.
SEMI-CONA: ita vero!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: est mihi maritus monstrum!
PEN. and FREN: ita vero!
MENAECHMUS I (enters from town): salve, bella puppa! (a bit too sarcastically)
DOMINA MENAECHMA: puppa mi! puppa u! ubi est mea palla.
MENAECHMUS I: (puzzled) quid?
PEN. and FREN. et monile suum!!
MENAECHMUS I: quid monile?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: mendax! mendacissimus!
PENICULUS: cenavisti sine me, caudex!
FRENICULUS: et sine me, podex.
MENAECHMUS I: quid dicitis? idiotae estis!
PENICULUS: num tu edisti?
MENAECHMUS I: minime! uxor. quid accidit?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: mi vir, da mihi pallam meam! nunc!
MENAECHMUS I: (guiltily) pp.pp...palla?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: palla!
MENAECHMUS I: palla?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: palla quam Erotiae dedisti, cretine!!
MENAECHMUS I: ah, illa palla. eam non dedi. eam praebui.
DOMINA MENAECHMA: praebuisti?
FRENICULUS: (aside to the audiene) uxor est insanior quam maritus!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: reporta eam subito! (enters her door and locks it)
- 8 -
MENAECHMUS I: (hearing the lock click over and over) sic semper maritis! (goes to knock on
Erotia’s door) deliciae meae? ubi es?
EROTIA: quid vis?
MENAECHMUS I: er, ahem....necesse est mihi pallam habere.
EROTIA: tibi iam dedi. et monile.
EBRIA VENERA: (popping her head out the window) oh, oh. quid facis nunc, luditor?
MENAECHMUS I: non intellego.
EROTIA: tibi iam dedi. abi! abi! (begins boo-hooing) quam animal! quam bestiam! abi subito et
noli numquam redire (slams her door and locks it too.)
EBRIA VENERA: duae ianuae clausae in uno solo die. bravissimo!
MENAECHMUS I: quid facio? redeo ad forum et ad amicos. (exits to Forum)
ACT V
(Enter Menachmus II from the forum with the palla. Enter Domina Menaechma from M. I’s house and unseen by
Menaechmus II)
DOMINA MENAECHMA: ecce vir et palla. da mihi pallam!
MENAECHMUS II: quid vis, femina?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: (shrieks and grabs for the palla) da mihi!
MENAECHMUS II: tu es Canis Major!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: divortium volo!
MENAECHMUS II: nullus momenti mihi est.
DOMINA MENAECHMA: quid? (bonking him) perfide! (calls to her servant Clemens in the house)
Clemes, Clemens!
CLEMENS: quid vis, domina?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: patrem volo.
CLEMENS: subito, domina.
MENAECHMUS II: cur te vexas?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: cur me vexo? cur me vexo? num tu insanus est! pallam meam me
rapuisti et ad illam feminam dedisti!
- 9 -
EBRIA VENERA: ita vero! fur! furcifer!
(enter Senex on a leash with Anus Rugosa)
SENEX: filia mea! quid accidit?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: divortium volo. Menaechmum non amo!.
SENEX: (to audience) tandem puella intelligit
ANUS RUGOSA: te dixi, te dixi, te dixi. homo bonus non est.
SENEX: cur tu vexata es?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: non fidelis est. Erotiam visitat.
SENEX: (to the audience) intellego.
DOMINA MENAECHMA: et bona mea parasitis semper dat!
ANUS RUGOSA: bene intellego. te dixi, te dixi, te dixi!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: et semper bibit!
SENEX and ANUS RUGOSA: optime intellegimus!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: rogate eum, vos ipsi!
(Senex and Anus Rugosa walk over to Menaechmus II) edepol, mi gener, quid accidit?
MENAECHMUS II: quis estis? (Senex and Anus Rugosa look at each other, as if he has really lost it
this time))
-
SENEX: num tu ludis? insanus es!
MENAECHMUS II: caper vetus! insanus sum? (gets a bright idea) insanus sum? ita vero, insanus
sum. (begins to run around like a possessed person, then to the audience
fortasse abibunt.
ANUS RUGOSA: gener noster plane insanus est.
DOMINA MENAECHMA (wailing) divortium volo!!
SENEX: (to Domina M.) id non potes.
DOMINA MENAECHMA: cur?
SENEX: honor familiae nostrae.
EBRIA VENERA: honor familiae……. cum illa uxore?
- 10 -
MENAECHMUS II: (proceeding with the charade, picking up an axe): Senex......
SENEX (breathing right in his son-in-law’s face) HAA! (Menaechmus falls down in a dead faint.)
EBRIA VENERA: etiam melior!
SENEX: occurrit nobis medicus! (runnning off) Medice!!! (Everybody runs off in different
directions).
MENAECHMUS II: (sitting up when everyone has gone) Whew. quam urbs insolita! ad navem
redeo. ubi est Caca Columba?
ACT VI
(Senex and Anus Rugosa enter with Medicus.)
MEDICUS: vester gener. insanus est?
ANUS RUGOSA: verosimilis. semper insolitus fuit. (sees Menaechmus I approaching)
ecce. gener noster.
MENAECHMUS I: catastrophe!! Peniculus pecuniam mihi rapuit
ANUS RUGOSA: et Erotia pallam!!
MEDICUS: er, salve, Menaechme. quid tu agis?
MENAECHMUS I: prozacium volo!
ANUS RUGOSA: filiam nostram “Canem Majorem” appellavit.
MEDICUS: (scandalized) verecunde!! ad ufficium eo. porta hunc insanum ad ufficium.
Clemens, ubi es?
CLEMENS: Ecce, adsum Medice! ego hunc insanum vigilabo. Certe periculosus est!
MEDICUS: bestia ferox est!
CLEMENS: est mihi toga perfecta! (He brings out a straight-jacket toga and He and Grumio struggle
to put Menaechmus I in it. All leave them and Menaechmus alone. Enter Caca Columba)
CACA COLUMBA: salve, domine! (Menaechmus I looks dumbfounded at the audience. At that
moment, Clemens and Grumiocarry Menaechmus off to the doctor’s office.)
SENEX: portate eum! fortis est!
MENAECHMUS I: quid facitis! (shouting) auxilium!
CLEMENS: seda te! seda te! insane hyena!
- 11 -
CACA COLUMBA: (trying to stop Clemens) ela! quid facitis?
GRUMIO: (trying to get Caca Columba off Clemens) siste, podex. te necabo!
MENAECHMUS I: quis es tu? (nullus momenti est.)
CACA COLUMBA: tibi auxilium fero, domine! bastarde! furcifer! oculos erue!
MENAECHMUS I: heus! pro pudore! cessate, cessate! improbe! ne sic facias! scelerate!
o me miserum! oculum meum!
CLEMENS: o me thesaurum!
GRUMIO: o me podicem!
CACA COLUMBA: bravo, domine!
CLEMENS: mehercle! nolite me tangere! cur me pulsate? di boni!! aiiiiiiii!!! fer mihi auxilium!!
(Clemens and Grumio manage to wiggle away and run for their lives)
C ACA COLUMBA: ite ad inferias! (wiping his hands together for a job well done)
MENAECHMUS I: gratias tibi ago.
CACA COLUMBA: domine, te salvavi. libera me.
MENAECHMUS I: quid?
CACA COLUMBA: libera me!
MENAECHMUS I: non te cognosco, sed liber es.
CACA COLUMBA: liber sum? ad portum festino!
MENAECHMUS I: certe. (And Caca Columba skips off to the port rejoicing) hodie fit hilarior et
Hilarior (sneaking into Erotia’s house). nunc necesse est mihi pallam capere.
ACT VII
(Menaechmus II and Caca Columba are coming back from the harbor.Menaechmus keeps bonking Caca on the
head.)
MENAECHMUS II: furcifer! liber non es!
CACA COLUMBA: promisisti!
MENAECHMUS II: numquam!
(Menaechmus I is just coming out of Erotia’s door)
MENAECHMUS I: Canes Maiores! ubi est palla?
- 12 -
CACA COLUMBA: quid video? imaginem speculi!!
MENAECHMUS II: ita vero. Similes mihi est! (they circle around each other)
MENACHMUS I: mihi nomen est Menaechmus.
MENAECHMUS II: sed mihi nomen est Menaechmus!
MENAECHMUS I: sum filius Moschi.
MENAECHMUS II: et ego sum filius Moschi.
BOTH MENAECHMI: gemelli sunus!
MENAECHMUS I: frater!
MENAECHMUS II: frater! (they embrace)
DOMINA MENAECHMA: (looking at both) ubi est mi vir?
MENAECHMUS I: (if there ever was a time to get out of his marital pickle, now’s the time!! Pointing
To Menaechmus II) ecce homo!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: mi heros! (He looks pretty sheepish, but decides not to argue with
someone holding a gigantic frying pan!.)
CACA COLUMBA: et ego liber sum?
ANUS RUGOSA: non diutius!! (snagging him by the arm?) et ecce filia nostra, Gibber Gubbosa!
GIBBER GIBBOSA ANCILLA: pater!
ANUS RUGOSA: filia! quam felix sum!
SENEX: heus!! aliam uxorem perdidi!
EROTIA: dives es, mi amores?
MENAECHMUS I: est mihi frater, et nulla uxor. euge!
TRIANGOLA et SEMI-CONA: hic sumus, magne leo!!
MENAECHMUS I: aime!
EBRIA VENERA: et ego! sum semper sola!
OMNES: TACE FEMINA CRAPULARIA!
- 13 -
CHORUS of ALL: frater fraterque
occurent utrique
omnes sunt felices
commedia, si vis!
feminae malae
et iracundae
omnes nunc tacitae
pacificae, si vis!
nihil regum!
nihil furum!
ferte actores,
maccos et mores.
quid sunt mores, iam?
deb’esse mores iam.
ecce mores nostrae vobis!
Tragoedia numquam hic
Commedia, si vis!!
- 14 -
ENGLISH VERSION MENAECHMI
PERSONAE:
Narrator: Paulus Lucius Stellus Rippel
Magister Scaenae: the stage manager – Silenus Burwell
Menaechmus I: a young man living in Epidamnus – Rufus Tacitus Jaynes
Domina Menaechma: his wife – Zoe Aemilia Watson
Senex: Menaechmus’ father-in-law – Poppaea Nammack
Anus Rugosa: (“Wrinkly Old Lady”) Senex’s second wife – Scribonia Burman
Peniculus: (“Sponger”), parasite companion of Menaechmus I – Natalia Staples
Freniculus: (”Curber”), companion of Menaechmus I – Maximus Mendez-Roca
Erotia: Menaechmus I’s very pretty neighbor – Trebius Brownstein
Ebria Venera: another of Menaechmus’ neighbors, living next door to Erotia – Tresviae Rosenbluth
Cylindra: Erotia’s cook – Christiana Zurbach
Quadrata: Cylindrus’ assistant – Zoe Samett.
Triangula: Erotia’s elegant fan girl – Maria Clara Hayes
Semi-Cona: Erotia’s elegant attendant – Ocatavia Poppaea Gutierrez
Menaechmus II: Menaechmus I’s twin brother from Syracuse – Maximus Tullius Tucker
Caca Columba: Menaechmus II’s servant – Stella Thompson
Gibber Gubbosa Ancilla: servant to Domina Menaechma – Catalina Picariello
Medicus: (“Doctor”) – Gaudia Emerson
Clemens: Domina Menaechma’s servant – Petrus Miller
Grumio: another strong slave – Christiana Zurbach
ACT I
NARRATOR: (entering) welcome, welcome, welcome! (waits for audiene to respond).
(graciously and exaggeratedly gesturing) First, from the very outset, I wish myself and
you, dear spectators, a gracious good welcome. Now, if you’ll listen and pay
attention, I’ll bring you in as few words as possible, I promise, Plautus’ play’s
premise...... welcome.
MAGISTER SCAENAE: (in a tunic and hat and vest, interrupting the Narrator, at first over to the side,
then shooting him a panic “veni huc!” signa
PSST! PSST!
NARRATOR: (trying to ignore Stage Manager, waving him off) welcome......
MAGISTER SCAENAE: PSSSSSSST!!!!!
NARRATOR: shut up, stupid!
MAGISTER SCAENAE: (shouting) come here, you imbecile!
NARRATOR: (embarrassed, to audience) So sorry, just one moment. (going off to one side to confer
with Stage Manager. Lots of gesticulating and pantomimed shouting.)
MAGISTER SCAENAE: (getting the last word) remember. This is a Latin comedy. LATIN!
NARRATOR: (starting over, looking sheepish and casting sideways glances at Stage Manager)
Hello, hello, hello!
(GAUDIA): Would you like to buy some whipped cream?
MAGISTER SCAENAE: Pardon? Latin, if you please?
NARRATOR: Beat it, donkey-face. (she gets dragged off with a stage hookl)
MAGISTER SCAENAE: Excellent. Excellent. (leaves stage, after nodding approval).
NARRATOR: once upon a time there was a man and his wife who lived in Syracuse. They had
twin boys, Menaechmus and Sosicles. But calamity came their way. The one so
Menaechmus vanished. Pirates carried him off to Epidamnus. The father died
despair and the remaining son was renamed “Menaechmus” in honor of his dead
brother.
(Meanwhile, Christiana, Petrus, Gaudia, Catalina, and Morgane will pantomime the actions.)
This is the town of Epidamnus. (gesturing to city around)
Here live Menaechmus and his wife. (points to Menaechmus’s house, left door)
Here lives Erotia, a very pretty lady! (making hour-glass gesture, points to right door)
Look! Here come Peniculus and Freniculus, the town moochers. (P. & F., the
parasite & his side-kick, enter.)
PENICULUS: My name’s “Peniculus.”
FRENICULUS: (broad aside to the audience) “Peniculus” means “parasite.”
PENICULUS: (gigantic shrug of agreement) okay, so I’m a parasite! I’m Menaechmus’ pal.
FRENICULUS: (bonking him on the head) we are Menaechmi’s pals, buddy-boy!
PENICULUS: (in astonishment and clearly vexed) okay, okay! We are both his friends.
FRENICULUS: (pointing to the right door) There’s where prettyErotia lives. What a doll!
MENAECHMUS I: (exiting, slamming the door, and raising a fist to someone behind the window
curtains) what an awful wife. I want a divorce! She never shuts up!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: (sticking her head out the window and screeching) MENAECHMUS!!!!!
PENICULUS: (parroting her) Menaechmus!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: (screaming) WHERE ARE YOU?
FRENICULUS: (sarcastically echoing) Where are you?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
PENICULUS: (repeating) Where you going?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
- 2 -
FRENICULUS: (mockingly) What are you doing?
MENAECHMUS I: (in despair) oy yoi!! oy yoi!! Nasty wife!! (turns around, sweetly blowing kisses
to his wife) Good-bye, my little turtle-dove!
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: Mistress. Where is your new palla? I don’t see it!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Coming, Gibber Gubbosa.
(as she disappears from sight, Menaechmus I raspberries her. then, to the audience)
MENAECHMUS I: whew! What a stupid ass! HOORAY! I’m free, free at last! (pulls a dress
from under his tunic.)
PENICULUS: (starting to take the dress) for me? You shouldn’t have……....
MENAECHMUS I: It’s not for you, you fool!
FRENICULUS: For me? (goes to take the dress before he, too, is bonked on the head).
MENAECHMUS I: (bonking both of them again over the head) I’m giving it to Erotia. She’ gonna
make me a wonderful dinner.
PENICULUS: (knocking on Erotia’s door, he is looking at his companions, and he
knocks on her head instead, as she opens the door)
EROTIA: Stop, you idiot! (then noticing Menaehmus) Oh, hi, big boy! (espying something which
Menaechmus is holding behind his back). What have you got there?
MENAECHMUS I: A little gift for you.
EROTIA: (clutching the beautiful tunic to her bosom) o Menaechme, you are so sweet!
EBRIA VENERA: (clearly a little tipsy, even this early in the day, looking from her next-door window,
mocking Erotia and Menaechmus). You’re so sweet. Makes me wanna puke!
FRENICULUS: (aside to the audience) Shut up, you soused old bag, you!
EROTIA: (to Mechaemus) It’s a beautiful dress. Come on into dinner.
PENICULUS: Us too?
EROTIA: (looks Peniculus and Freniculus up and down, not very impressed, but resignedly) You too.
calling for her servants) Cylindra, Quadrata! Come here immediately!
CYLINDRA and QUADRATA: (appearing) Mistress?
EROTIA: Go buy some food. Make a nice dinner. Go immediately.
CYLINDRA: Who’s dining with you tonight?
- 3 -
EROTIA: Menaechmus, Freniculus, and (looking askance at Cylindra) and Peniculus!
CYLINDRA: (in horror) Golly-gee! Alas! Alas! Peniculus!!! He eats more than three men.!
EBRIA VENERA: (piping up again) More like six men. He’s a real moocher!
PENICULUS and FRENICULUS: shut up, you soused old bag, you!
EROTIA: (pushing Cylindra and Quadraa out the door) Hurry! (they exit, and Erotia enters her
house.)
ACT II
(Enter Menaechmus II, followed by Caca Columba, who is struggling with a small sea chest.)
MENAECHMUS II: Here we are in Epidamnus!
CACA COLUMBA: Master! Stop!! I’m tired. (puts down the sea chest, looks around) Where are
we, anyway?
EBRIA VENERA: (out her window, helpfully to C.C., not seeing Menaechmus II) Epidamnus.
CACA COLUMBA: Epidamnus? Epidamnus? Master, we are damned!
MENAECHMUS II: Quiet, stupid. This is Epidamnus and we are certainly not damned.
CACA COLUMBA: Why did we come here anyway?
MENAECHMUS II: I’ve been looking for my twin for six years now. (sobbing, he pulls out picture
of his twin)
CACA COLUMBA: And I’ve been starving for six years! (rubs his belly pathetically)
MENAECHMUS II: (turning around in exasperation) Ah, always complaints from you!
EBRIA VENERA: (catching sight of Menaechmus II) By Hercules! yoo-hoo! Menaechme!!
MENAECHMUS II: Do I know you?
EBRIA VENERA: (looking at him as if he were completely nuts) You’re potted this early in the day?
CACA COLUMBA: Shut up, you ugly old bag! (she slams the window shut)
MENAECHMUS II: Caca Columba, give me the money.
CACA COLUMBA: Master, our purse is empty. (turns big purse upside down and cobwebs fall out).
- 4 -
MENAECHMUS II: By Pollux! How are we ever gonna eat, you lousy slave! (bonks him with the
purse)
CACA COLUMBA: Cut it out! You’re a mean master!
CYLINDRA: (returning with Quadrata from the forum with the groceries) Hi, Menaechmus.
MENAECHMUS II: (stupified. looks at him in amazement. Then looks puzzled at Caca Columba)
CACA COLUMBA: People here are really friendly!
QUADRATA: Where are your buddies?
MENAECHMUS II: My buddies?
CYLINDRA: The other guests.
MENAECHMUS II: Guests?
CYLINDRA: (to Quadratus) By Castor, this guy is an imbecile!
QUADRATA: (to Menaechmus) Peniculus and Freniculus!!
MENAECHMUS II: Who?
QUADRATA: The parasites, the parasites!
CACA COLUMBA: Hey, I’m no parasite. By Pollux! (to audience) These dames are imbeciles!
MENAECHMUS II: (trying to wave them away) Beat it, you idiots.
CYLINDRA: Menaechmus, don’t you know us?
MENAECHMUS II: No!
QUADRATA: You’ve been drinking too much wine!
EBRIA VENERA: (popping her head out) too much wine? Where’s the wine?
CYLINDRA and QUADRATA: Shut up, you drunken old bag!
MENAECHMUS II: I really do not know you.
CYLINDRA: So you’re not coming to dinner?
CACA COLUMBA: Dinner? (to Menaechmus II). Master, we need to eat. I’m starving.
EROTIA: (exiting the house with Triangola, the fan-girl, and Semi-Cona, her attendant. Triangola is
fanning her visciously. Semi-Cona is sprinkiling rose-water all around) Menaechmus! enter!
- 5 -
SEMI-COMA: Enter Master, enter. Erotia has been waiting for you.
MENAECHMUS II: (shrugging, to the audience) Another pair of nutty women!
SEMI-CONA: Erotia is not nuts! (She sprinkles him right in the face.) Enter, you impudent goat,
enter. (Triangola pokes him in the bum to get him to go in.)
EROTIA: (holding up her new palla) Do you like it?
MENAECHMUS II: What?
TRIANGOLA: The dress you stole from your wife.
MENAECHMUS II: Alas, alas. I stole nothing.
EROTIA: Never mind. (looks at Triangola like he’s a little “out of it.”) Come and eat. (she
runs her fingers through Menaechmus II’s hair. He start to melt.....Triangola starts fanning
him like a wind tunnel machine. Then Semi-Cona and Triangola do Stacy’s Mom Dance
. Routine.)
CACA COLUMBA:: Master. How long do we have to watch this stuff. I’m starving!
MENAECHMUS II: What? (captivated by Erotia and the dancers, but giving up) What are you
saying? You were talking about ….a dress?
EROTIA: Semi-Cona, here’s the dress.
SEMI-CONA: (very elegantly) Right away, Mistress. I’m taking this dress to the dressmaker’s. .
(sniffing the palla) and I think I gonna have it washed, too.
EROTIA: (to Triangola, who is fanning her right in the face) Cut it out, bonehead! Go with her!
TRIANGOLA: Right away, Mistress. (starts fanning Semi-Cona, like a dummy)
SEMI-CONA: Triangola, stop! (bonks her with the empty bowl.)
MENAECHMUS II: (to Caca Columba):Go with those slaves. This woman is clearly missing a
screw. (pointing to Erotia) But she likes me and I have a plan. We’ll have
some money soon.
CACA COLUMBA: Rats! (to the audience) The master is the one missing the screw. According to
him, this woman likes him? (Menaechmus raises a hand to hit him.)
SEMI-CONA: What are you waiting for, dumb-bell?
CACA COLUMBA: Correction: hungry dumb-bell. Let’s go, girls.
EROTIA: And you, Gibber Gubbosa, take this necklace to the goldsmith. Get it fixed.
- 6 -
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: It’s so pretty! Mistress, who gave it to you?
EROTIA: Why, Menaechmus, my dearest darling.
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: (biting on it to make sure it is real gold) He’s nuts.
(running to catch up with others) I bet it’s his wife’s. Hey, guys,
wait for me! Where’s Menaechmus?
ACT III
(enter Peniculus and Freniculus.)
PENICULUS: Here we are. But where’s Menaechmus? He’s given us the slip and we’re starving.
FRENICULUS: I could eat a horse.
PENICULUS: (bonking him on the head) You are a horse!
(Enter Menaechmus II, talking into the house).
MENAECHMUS II: I ate, I drank, I chased a lot of girls!
PENICULUS: Boy, you’re a real friend!
MENAECHMUS II: Who are you?
FRENICULUS: Don’t you know your own parasite?
MENAECHMUS II: What are you talking about/
PENICULUS: Brother. You really are out of it today!
(Enter Gibber Gubbosa Ancilla, espying Menaechmus II)
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: Here’s the golden necklace. I took it to the goldsmith.
MENAECHMUS II: (shrugging in disbelief to audience) Wow! How lucky can you get in one day?
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: I know it belongs to your wife, by the way.
MENAECHMUS II (looks at audience as if she’s crazy) Wife? (mouths) I don’t have a wife!
GIBBER GUBBOSA ANCILLA: Quick, quick! (returning back into the house)
Boy that guy is really full of it!
ACT IV
(entering Menaechmus’ wife, Domina Menaechmus. Semi-Cona sees her.)
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Alas! Where is that rotten husband of mine?
SEMI-CONA: Yeah, he stole your best dress.
FRENICULUS: (adding) And your necklace.
- 7 -
DOMINA MENAECHMA: My dress and necklace! I’m gonna beat him to a pulp! Like this and
this and this! (banging her hand, one into another).
PENICULUS: oi yoi. Poor old Menaechmus!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: My husband is a rotten stink-pot.
SEMI-CONA: True!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: My husband is a monster!
PEN. and FREN: True!
MENAECHMUS I (enters from town): Hi, doll! (a bit too sarcastically)
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Me doll? You dull! Where’s my dress?
MENAECHMUS I: (puzzled) What?
PEN. and FREN. And her necklace?
MENAECHMUS I: What necklace?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Liar. Liar! Pants on fire!
PENICULUS: You ate without me, you bottom-dweller!
FRENICULUS: And without me, bottom-boy!
MENAECHMUS I: What are you saying? You’re idiots.
PENICULUS: Didn’t you eat?
MENAECHMUS I: No, I didn’t. Wife, what’s going on here?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Husband, give me back my dress. Now!
MENAECHMUS I: (guiltily) dddd…dddress?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Dress!
MENAECHMUS I: Dress?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: The dress you gave Erotia, you numbskull.
MENAECHMUS I: Ah, that dress! I didn’t give it to her. I...I lent it to her.
DOMINA MENAECHMA: you lent it to her?
- 8 -
FRENICULUS: (aside to the audiene) If she falls for that one, she’s crazier than her husband!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Well, bring it back right now! (enters her door and locks it)
MENAECHMUS I: (hearing the lock click over and over) Thus always to all husbands! (goes to
knock on Erotia’s door) Darling, where are you?
EROTIA: What do you want?
MENAECHMUS I: er, ahem....I need the dress back!
EROTIA: I already gave it to you…the necklace too!
EBRIA VENERA: (popping her head out the window) oh, oh. What are ya gonna do now, player!
MENAECHMUS I: I don’t understand.
EROTIA: I already gave it back. Leave, you brute! (begins boo-hooing) What an animal. What a
beast! Leave at once! Never return! (slams her door and locks it too.)
EBRIA VENERA: Two locked doors in one day – pretty good, there, fellow!
MENAECHMUS I: What to do? Oh well. Back to my friends. (exits to Forum)
ACT V
(Enter Menachmus II from the forum with the palla. Enter Domina Menaechma from M. I’s house and unseen by
Menaechmus II)
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Here’s the man and my dress! Give it back to me!
MENAECHMUS II: What do you want, woman?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: (shrieks and grabs for the palla) Give me the dress!
MENAECHMUS II: You are a major female animal of the canine variety!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: I want a divorce!
MENAECHMUS II: Don’t matter to me!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: What? (bonking him) Beast! (calls to her servant Clemens in the house)
Clemens! Clemens!
CLEMENS: What do you want, Mistress?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: I want my daddy!
CLEMENS: Right away, Mistress.
MENAECHMUS II: Why are you so upset, for Pete’s sake?
- 9 -
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Why am I so upset? You really are a nut case! You took my dress and
you gave it to .....to that woman!
EBRIA VENERA: Right-o, buddy-boy! Thief! Scoundrel!
(enter Senex on a leash with Anus Rugosa)
SENEX: My darling daughter. What’s going on?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: I want a divorce. I don’t love Menaechmus anymore.
SENEX: (to audience) Finally – the our daughter gets it! After all these years.
ANUS RUGOSA: I told you so, I told you so, I told you so!
SENEX: Why are you so upset?
DOMINA MENAECHMA: He’s not a loyal husband. He is visiting Erotia, the cad!
SENEX: (to the audience) Boy, do I get that one!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: And he’s giving all my things away to parasites and moochers!
ANUS RUGOSA: I understand that all right. Told you so, told you so, told you so!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: And he drinks too much.
SENEX and ANUS RUGOSA: We sure understand that too.
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Ask him yourselves, if you don’t believe me.
(Senex and Anus Rugosa walk over to Menaechmus II)
SENEX: By Pollux, Son-in-law. You’ve got yourself into a real mess this time!
MENAECHMUS II: Who are you? (Senex and Anus Rugosa look at each other, as if he has really lost
it this time.)
SENEX: Is this your idea of a joke? Are you crazy?
MENAECHMUS II: You old goat! I’m crazy? (gets a bright idea) I’m crazy? That’s right. I am
crazy. (begins to run around like a possessed person, then to the audience
Maybe they’ll leave......if I act crazy enough.
ANUS RUGOSA: Our son-in-law really has gone nuts this time.
DOMINA MENAECHMA (wailing) I want a divorce!
SENEX: (to Domina M.) That you cannot do.
DOMINA MENAECHMA: Why not?
SENEX: The honor of our family. – 10 -
EBRIA VENERA: The honor of your family.....with that wife???
MENAECHMUS II: (proceeding with the charade, picking up an axe): Senex......
SENEX (breathing right in his son-in-law’s face) HAA! (Menaechmus falls down in a dead faint.)
EBRIA VENERA: This comedy gets better all the time!
SENEX: We need a doctor here! (runnning off) Doctor!!! (Everybody runs off in different
directions).
MENAECHMUS II: (sitting up when everyone has gone) Whew. What a strange city! I’m going
back to the ship and get out of here. Where’s Caca Columba?
ACT VI
(Senex and Anus Rugosa enter with Medicus.)
MEDICUS: Your son-in-law. He may be certifiably insane.
ANUS RUGOSA: Seems so. But then, he always was unusual.. (sees Menaechmus I approaching)
Look, here he comes.
MENAECHMUS I: Disaster has struck. Peniculus stole my money.
ANUS RUGOSA: And Erotia stole your wife’s dress, I’ll bet!
MEDICUS: er, hello, Menaechmus. How do you feel today?
MENAECHMUS I: I need some Prozac, that’s for sure.
ANUS RUGOSA: Doctor, he called our darling daughter a “Big Female Dog.”
MEDICUS: (scandalized) Shame on you!! I’m going to my office right now. This nut needs to be
taken there right away. Where are Clemens and Grumio?
CLEMENS: Here, Doctor. We’ll guard this crazy guy. He’s a danger to society.
MEDICUS: He’s a wild animal.
CLEMENS: And I have just the toga for him! (He brings out a straight-jacket toga and he and Grumio
struggle to put Menaechmus I in it. All leave him and Menaechmus alone. Enter Caca
Columba)
CACA COLUMBA: Hi, Master! (Menaechmus I looks dumbfounded at the audience. At that
moment, Clemens and Grumio carry Menaechmus I off to the doctor’s office.)
SENEX: Take him! He’s a wild one!
MENAECHMUS I: What are you doing? (shouting) HELP!!!!
CLEMENS: Calm down, you crazy hyena! - 11 -
CACA COLUMBA: (trying to stop Clemens) Hey, what are you doing?
GRUMIO: (trying to get Caca Columba off Clemens) Stop, you bonehead!. I’ll kill you!
MENAECHMUS I: Who are you, anyway? (As if I care.)
CACA COLUMBA: I’ll help you, Master. You dirty dogs! Scoundrels. Rip their eyes out!
MENAECHMUS I: Alas! For shame! Stop/ Stop! Ow! You got the wrong guy! My eye!
CLEMENS: Ouch, my treasure!
GRUMIO: Ouch, my bottom!
CACA COLUMBA: Good job, Master! Sic ‘em!
CLEMENS: By Hercules. Don’t touch me! Why are you hitting me? Great Caesar’s ghost!!!
Help. HELP!!!
(Clemens and Grumio manage to wiggle away and run for their lives)
C ACA COLUMBA: Go to blazes! (wiping his hands together for a job well done)
MENAECHMUS I: Thank you..
CACA COLUMBA: Don’t mention it. Master, I saved you. Now give me me.
MENAECHMUS I: What?
CACA COLUMBA: Free me.
MENAECHMUS I: Well, I don’t know you, so you’re free to go.
CACA COLUMBA: Free? I’m outta here!
MENAECHMUS I: Okay....(And Caca Columba skips off to the port rejoicing) This day just keeps
getting stranger and stranger. (sneaking into Erotia’s house). Now I’ve got to
get that dress back.
ACT VII
(Menaechmus II and Caca Columba are coming back from the harbor. Menaechmus II keeps bonking Caca on the
head.)
MENAECHMUS II: You scoundrel. Who told you you were free?
CACA COLUMBA: You did.
MENAECHMUS II: Never.
(Menaechmus I is just coming out of Erotia’s door)
MENAECHMUS I: Son of a gun, where’s the dress?
- 12 -
CACA COLUMBA: What am I seeing? A mirror image of the master himself.
MENAECHMUS II: You’re right. He does look like me. (they circle around each other)
MENACHMUS I: My name is Menaechmus.
MENAECHMUS II: But my name is Menaechmus, too!
MENAECHMUS I: I am the son of Moschus.
MENAECHMUS II: But I am the son of Moschus. too.
BOTH MENAECHMI: TWINS!!!!
MENAECHMUS I: Brother!
MENAECHMUS II: Brother! (they embrace)
DOMINA MENAECHMA: (looking at both) Which one is my husband?
MENAECHMUS I: (if there ever was a time to get out of his marital pickle, now’s the time!! Pointing
To Menaechmus II) There’s your man!
DOMINA MENAECHMA: My hero! (He looks pretty sheepish, but decides not to argue with
someone holding a gigantic frying pan!.)
CACA COLUMBA: And am I still free?
ANUS RUGOSA: Not any longer! (snags him by the arm) and here’s our daughter Gibber Gubbosa!
GIBBER GIBBOSA ANCILLA: Daddy!
ANUS RUGOSA: Daughter. How happy I am!
SENEX: Hey. I think I just lost another wife.
EROTIA: By the way, Senex, do you happen to be rich?
MENAECHMUS I: Now I have a brother, but no wife. hip hip hooray!
TRIANGOLA and SEMI-CONA: We’re here, you big pussy-cat, you.
MENAECHMUS I: yikes!
EBRIA VENERA: And me. I’m always the one left out.
OMNES: TACE, FEMINA CRAPULARIA!
- 13 -
CHORUS of ALL: Brother and brother
get one another
Something for everyone
A comedy tonight!
Women of temper
and of distemper
Now they are silent
And calm as you please!
Nothing of kings!
Nothing of thieves!
Bring on the lovers,
liars, and clowns.
What is the moral?
Must be a moral!
Here is our moral we give to you!
Tragedy tomorrow,
Comedy tonight!
- 14 -
MENAECHMI
COSTUMES & PROPS
Narrator Paulus Lucius Stellus Rippel: belted tunic & toga; sandlas
Magister Scaenae: Silenus Burwell. belted tunic & toga; sandals
Menaechmus I: Rufus Tacitus Jaynes. belted tunic w/ toga; red wig; sandals; palla; bonker
Domina Menaechma: Zoe Aemilia Watso. belted tunic w/ stola; jewelry; sandals; bonker; gigantic
frying pan (paper prop)
Senex: Poppaea Nammack. belted tunic w/ toga; wig & mustache; sandals
Anus Rugosa: Scribonia Burman. belted tunic w/ stola; pasty white make-up & wrinkles; leash
Peniculus: Natalia Staples. filthy, torn tunic w/ toga; bonker
Freniculus: Maximus Mendez-Roca. dirty torn tunic & toga; bonker
Erotia: Trebius Brownstein. belted tunic w/ stola; wig; jewelry, lots of make-up; sandals
Ebria Venera: Tresviae Rosenbluth. dishevelled tunic & palla; messy hair & make-up; goblet
Cylindra: Christiana Zurbach. simple tunic with paper slave belt; grocery bag
Quadrata: Zoe Samett. simple tunic with paper slave belt; grocery bag
Triangula: Maria Clara Hayes. elegant tunic w/ stola. big fan (streamers on a stick)
Semi-Cona: Octavia Poppaea Gutierrez. elegant tunic w/ stola; bowl of rose water
Menaechmus II: Maximus Tullius Tucker. identical to M I; goofy picture of twin; axe; bonker
Caca Columba: tella Thompson. lived-in tunic. empty purse; sea chest (empty box)
Gibber Gubbosa Ancilla: Catalina Picariello. tunic w/ stola. necklace; baby; Sosicles sign.
Medicus: Gaudia Emerson. tunic w doctor cape. doctor hat; hook; baby; Menaechmus sign
Clemens: Petrus Miller. tunic with paper belt. sandals; pirate sword & kerchief
Grumio: Christiana Zurbach. throw a sape over the tunic; straight-jacket toga
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