NOVEMBER WOMEN
a one-act play by
Kate McGrath
Production history:
NOVEMBER WOMEN has been produced in New York at the Nat Horne Theatre where it was a finalist in the
Lovecreek One Act Festival. In Philadelphia the play has enjoyed professional productions with Women's
Place Theatre at St. Joseph's University, and Theatre Under the Stars. In addition to innumerable
performances throughout the US in college and high school settings, foreign productions have included the
American Center in Yekaterinburg, Russia, Almaty, Kazakhstan, and at the Alberta Speech and Debate
Association's Regional Speech competition in Alberta, Canada.
Contact information: K.R. McGrath, 2900 School Lane Drexel Hill, PA 19026
(610) 626-5191 krmcgrath@rcn.com
November Women, copyright 1993 by Kate Rindfleisch McGrath
NOVEMBER WOMEN
Characters
Darlene, 20, a woman who has an innocent way about her, she laughs freely,
her actions may seem childish but she is far from stupid. She has an
uderstated dignity about her.
Eve, 33, a woman who holds herself in, tries to cling to a path just to keep
her sanity. Her current rudeness stems from her fear of getting close to
anyone. Ready to break. A genuine tenderness that peeps from underneath
all of her frustration and harsh tone indicates that she is currently under stress and has not yet become
bitter.
Setting
An interview room with a desk and simple furnishings, a few Thanksgiving
decorations. The office is located at the Family Services building in a
major city in the US.
Time
The day before Thanksgiving.
(AT RISE we see an interview room/office at Family Services at
Thanksgiving time. A pumpkin or other holiday decorations. The desk has
framed pictures, someone's coffee mugs, etc. Perhaps a filing cabinet but
not much else. Behind the desk, which faces the audience-- a chair. A
swivel chair sits next to the desk, also facing the audience. DARLENE, a woman in her early twenties, is
seated in the swivel chair. SHE wears a bright yellow sundress
and yellow sandals, and someone has draped a blanket around her. SHE moves
around in the chair, spinning, which makes her laugh, perhaps singing,
then making her feet dance around, etc. EVE enters just as DARLENE is
spinning around. EVE wears a blazer over casual clothes, has her hair
pulled back. SHE carries a huge stack of manila files and has some
bigger folders, a soft briefcase crammed with papers and books. EVE
freezes when she sees DARLENE'S hair whipping around. Then SHE crosses
to the desk and begins to organize her things. This is clearly not her
desk. DARLENE stands and sticks out a hand to shake. EVE still doesn't
have a hand free.)
DARLENE
Hi! So who are you?
EVE
Oh, hi. How are you? I'm Eve. I'm here to talk to you for a little bit.
They called me over from my regular office at Juniper Street. They've been
trying to reach your parole officer--
DARLENE
D'you know Monica?
EVE
Not well. But it seems she must have already left town? Anyway--
DARLENE
I like Monica. She's cool. She has a nose ring.
EVE
Really? Well. So I am apparently next in line to figure all of this out.
It seems (opens a file) that several people in this report are concerned
about you.
DARLENE
Oh, I'm Darlene. My name's Darlene.
-2-
EVE
(EVE checks in the report, smiles) Yes, that is correct. Now.
(EVE moves more objects around the desk, looks at a photo, puts it to the
side, gets out a pen.) Now, let's see here. What day is it anyway?
DARLENE
Don't you know what day it is?
EVE
Of course I do. I mean, it's Wednesday. It's Wednesday, day before
Thanksgiving.
(EVE moves a stuffed animal or smiley-face mug out of the way. Chews her
pen. Smiles nervously at DARLENE.)
DARLENE
You mean, maybe, what date it is. Right?
EVE
Right. That's what I meant. (tense) And it's...November 24th. Has been all
day.
DARLENE
(Laughs) That's funny!
EVE
What.
DARLENE
You said, "Has been all day." That's hysterical! Like when you say to
someone, "So, it's Wednesday, right?" and they say, "In most states." I like
that one, too. Cracks me up.
EVE
"In most states"?
DARLENE
Yeah! That's hysterical!
EVE
Hilarious.
DARLENE
(Giggling) Yeah. Hysterical!
-3-
EVE
(Short pause) Actually, things aren't "hysterical". Things can seem
hilarious, perhaps. Not "hysterical". Do you mind if I smoke?
DARLENE
Smoking isn't good for you.
EVE
Thank you. (SHE proceeds to light up) Now. It seems that the...pastor over
at the (reading) University Lutheran Church was alarmed to find you in the
process of trying to steal part of the church's private property this
afternoon.
DARLENE
"Property"!?
EVE
Yes. (Reading) "Figures in a nativity creche which were being uncrated in
the rectory area." Let's get this straight. You--touched one of the
figurines, but you didn't
actually--
DARLENE
(Correcting) Figures.
EVE
Sorry?
DARLENE
Not "figurines". See those are those little teeny things that you order from
the back of magazines. Like as in "porcelain figurines". These weren't
little. These were big.
EVE
Right. Big.
DARLENE
You know. The wise men, the shepherds, Mary, Joseph.
EVE
Which one did you touch. Baby Jesus?
DARLENE
(Looks down, swivels in the chair) Yeah.
EVE
What were you trying to do, when you touched the figure of Jesus?
DARLENE
"Do"?
-4-
EVE
(Flounders for an ashtray and uses a coffee mug. DARLENE observes this with
distaste.) You know, were you trying to steal the figure--? Or deface it in
any way?
DARLENE
All I did was touch it...did he say I took it? Cause I didn't take it. All
I did was touch it with my hand.
EVE
Okay. Are you...angry at the church?
DARLENE
Angry?
EVE
Let's cut to the chase. Are you a religious nut?
DARLENE
(Laughs) There you go again! "Religious nut"!!
EVE
This is amusing to you?
DARLENE
See, there's this--almond, see, and he goes around praying all day and night.
Like, he's an almond? And he prays? And goes to church? He's a
"religious--NUT"!!
(SHE laughs and swivels.)
EVE
(Sighs.) The pastor is concerned that you may have some kind of obsession
with religious articles. When he saw you there, handling the Christ
Child--well, the good man is--shall we say--a tad paranoid. Now. He wants
to make sure we give you counseling since you seemed to be--and I quote--"Not
terribly cognizant of your surroundings or situation." (EVE gives a very
official smile.)
DARLENE
I know what paranoid means. (pause) I'm not too sure of "cognizant".
EVE
He's saying you were pretty "out of it" when he caught you.
DARLENE
(Slowly) You mean he thought I was going to steal the baby.
-5-
EVE
The Baby Jesus? From the creche?
DARLENE
I sure wasn't stealing. I've got better things to do.
EVE
(Writing in the report) Whatever.
DARLENE
What do you mean, "whatever"?
EVE
(Not looking at DARLENE) You did not seem to be dressed "appropriate to the
season"
(THEY both look at DARLENE's clothes.) The pastor, being unable to reach
your parole officer, thought you should speak with--me. (Pause) Doreen.
Um, Doreen? Are you listening to me?
DARLENE
No. Darlene is kinda listening to you. (This correction is lost on EVE.) I
didn't do anything, that's what I kept telling that priest guy. Talk about a
bad listener. He keeps talking about bringing me to a shelter. "So I don't
get into any more trouble." If I were in trouble, I'd know it. And plus, I
don't need "shelter". Really. (laughs)
EVE
How do you mean?
DARLENE
I must've told him fourteen times that I've got my own apartment! He just
kept going on and on about how good the bowl of soup they've got here was
going to taste! (Confidentially) I mean it was fine, but I could tell it
was Campbell's. I mean, I can tell canned soup.
EVE
Really. So. Could you tell me if we need to help you file for assistance?
DARLENE
What do you mean by that?
EVE
Ah...assistance. Public assistance. Do you have a job?
DARLENE
Yup. Got a job. I work at the cafeteria at the University. You ever been
there? I'm the beverage girl. See, I get there really early in the morning,
6:30 am, and I start these big huge urns of coffee. And I make the iced
teas. And the lemonade, too. And I have
-6-
my afternoons all to myself cause I get off around three. It's great, to get
off work and it's still like practically the middle of the day!
EVE
So you don't need to apply for public assistance.
DARLENE
(Slowly) I just told you. I've got a job.
EVE
(Reading) "Recently released from...Women's penitentiary. Probation for a
year..." That's what it says here, in your record. Now, could you tell me
about this attempt to steal the Christ Child out of the rectory of the
University Lutheran--
DARLENE
Didn't steal nothing.
EVE
Sorry?
DARLENE
Who says I stole. I didn't steal nothing. (pause) Anything.
EVE
AS I have established, the good pastor happens to be on the paranoid side.
Recent sex scandal in the community, petty vandalism, you know, he blames
himself. In general, that is.
DARLENE
What's all that got to do with me touching the toe of Jesus?
EVE
Not a whole heckuva lot, as I am beginning to see.
DARLENE
(As EVE lights another cigarette) You know, I wasn't thinking about it being
the toe of Jesus.
EVE
Oh, no?
DARLENE
I'm not a religious nut, remember?
EVE
Oh! That's right! I have you marked down as a non-religious nut. Wouldn't
want to classify you improperly.
DARLENE
Hey.
EVE
Yes?
-7-
DARLENE
You being smart?
EVE
Why, whatever do you mean?
DARLENE
You don't like this job, do you.
EVE
(Rapidly) Of course I love this job, I love it! Love it! Why do you ask?
That's insane! I enjoy this job, really I do!
DARLENE
Then how come I can tell you don't really like it at all?
EVE
All right, Doreen. I'll be painfully frank, which believe me, is not the
Social Services way, but it is, or has been, my way. I'm not a doctor; I
only play one on TV. (Pause) That was a little joke. Actually, I'm in
graduate school, getting my Masters in Social Work, and I am required to take
on a certain number of "cases" per week, to fulfill the final segment, or
phase, of my training on this, the graduate level.
DARLENE
You still in school? That's nice. I'm thinking about going back to school
myself.
EVE
(EVE looks at her watch) I see.
DARLENE
Now that I got a job and an apartment.
EVE
And if we can just get through this session of counseling, Doreen--
DARLENE
Darlene. They get my name right on that thing?
(SHE tries to see the report, EVE snatches it out of her view.)
EVE
--That means that I will be done with case work for the next two days.
(Beat) TWO DAYS.
DARLENE
Oh, you get off work for Thanksgiving, don't you? Hey, so do I. You gonna
have pumpkin pie? My Ma she used to make this sweet potato pie and this
dressing with nuts and apples and stuff in it. I think she put sausage in
the dressing, too.
EVE
(Rapidly) Now. Whatever the circumstances, it seems to me that we can zip
on
-8-
(EVE cont.) through this process if and only if: you confess to being
bonkers, you let me schedule an appointment with Mental Health, I phone the
pastor and appease his well-meaning sense of moral duty, and we wrap this all
up in half an hour--that would be by 4:30, say, and I do ten minutes of paper
work and I'm outta here and in New Jersey by six pm tonight, hmm?
DARLENE
What's in New Jersey? You got a husband? He in New Jersey?
EVE
(Angrily) Nothing. Nothing's in New Jersey. Sorry I mentioned it. Now--how
about if we put you down as "unstable and confused". How's that sound?
DARLENE
No, that doesn't sound too good. Besides, I thought they already said I was
"not terribly cognizant". Remember?
EVE
(EVE gets up, stretches, gives a hostile glare at DARLENE, who spins in the
chair.)
Yes, I remember. Look. You're wearing a sundress. It's thirty-five degrees
out. You're wearing those things--
DARLENE
Sandals. Don't you even know what sandals are?
EVE
Do you want to catch pneumonia?
DARLENE
But it's a yellow dress. And these are yellow sandals.
EVE
(Throws her hands up) Of course! Yellow! That explains everything!
DARLENE
I wasn't dressed up to go to church. Hey, that isn't even my church. I was
over at the penitentiary trying to visit a sick friend. My friend Rita who
was my best friend in prison and see, yellow is a color that just naturally
cheers people up, that's all.
EVE
You were sentenced to two years for "accessory to assault and battery"? (SHE
glances from the report to DARLENE)
DARLENE
(Slyly) Whatever.
EVE
Ah. You're a sharp one. "Released in October on one year's probation, good
behavior while incarcerated". So. You were a good girl while you were in the
-9-
(EVE cont.) slammer?
DARLENE
I liked it there. I was in the laundry room.
EVE
(Puzzled) Oh.
DARLENE
I worked down there where they do the laundry and sheets and towels and
stuff. It was always warm. From the dryers, you know. And it smelled
clean, down there. I took laundry out of these bags and stuck it in the
wash, then I would wait. Then I would stick it in the dryer. (pause) And
wait.
EVE
I would have gone stark raving mad.
DARLENE
No, I liked it. Anyway, now I've got my own place.
EVE
You said.
DARLENE
I'm decorating it all bright and cheerful. I went to the Dollar Store on
Chestnut Street and got some brand new dish towels. They're white with
yellow stripes. And the kitchen is going to be yellow, too. The paper
towels and the napkins and the salt and pepper shakers and the dishes--
EVE
(Exasperated) Tell me. Did you or didn't you notice that today, being the
day before Thanksgiving, it was freezing out? And therefore might warrant a
compormise on the whole "yellow as a way of life" motif?
DARLENE
"Motif"?
EVE
--Or did you perhaps set out today with the goal of giving a graduate student
you have never met--nor will ever meet again--a headache the size of a--a pumpkin?
DARLENE
What kind of question is that?
EVE
(Gets cigarette out, smiles nervously) A nasty, uncalled-for kind. Look, I'm
sorry. (Breathes) Do you mind if I smoke?
-10-
DARLENE
Do you have kids? Cause if you have kids you shouldn't smoke. It's bad for
them. My friend Rita--the one I was telling you about--well we wanted her to
quit smoking on account of her going to have a baby, and she tried, but she
never did stop. Plus she ate all these candy bars. She'd snarf 'em up, day
and night. Kit kats, Snickers, Three Musketeers...and you know what? I
don't think those were any good for the baby. I know they weren't. But you
know what she would say to me when I would tell her not to eat that junk?
EVE
(Almost to herself, thinking about something else) Damned if you do, damned
if you don't.
DARLENE
(Rises) That's it! That's just what she used to say! That's exactly what
Rita used to say!
EVE
It's a common enough expression.
DARLENE
See, you're really not so bad at this!
EVE
About this report. See. See this? I don't have all the blanks filled in on
this report, here. And see that clock? The little hand is on the four. And
the big hand?
DARLENE
On the two.
EVE
Exactly. Now. Suppose you tell me a little bit about these urges you've
been having lately. To break into churches and--
DARLENE
I walked in.
EVE
Into someplace you shouldn't have been. And you started to steal--
DARLENE
(Shouts) Touch! Touch! Tried to TOUCH!
EVE
Okay, all right. You tried to touch the statue and all of the hullaballoo
began--
-11-
DARLENE
It was a church. Your'e supposed to be able to go in. Any time. It's like
the opposite of most other places. I didn't see any harm and going in to
light some candles for the baby!
EVE
The main thing is, you are very very sorry and you'll never do it again and
you'll see someone from mental helath at ten forty-five next Wednesday. Are
we in agreement here? Can we all just GO HOME?
DARLENE
(Quietly) You don't scare me.
EVE
What did you say?
DARLENE
I said, none of you scare me at all. I know, sure, priests and guards and
doctors and people from Welfare are supposed to make you act all proper and
pay attention to what's going on. But this week I just --I just can't
concentrate on what's going on on the outside. See, there's so much going
on--in here.
(DARLENE indicates her solar plexus)
EVE
There's so much going on--
DARLENE
You know. In here.
EVE
(Pause) Oh. Oh wait, hold the phone. This is now coming together. Light
dawns. You're pregnant, aren't you?
DARLENE
No.
EVE
(Whirls around, slams mug down.) Damn! (Beat) Sorry.
DARLENE
I'm not, and Rita's not--any more. That's why I was trying to go cheer her
up. See, she had the baby. But the baby's real sick. (Angrily) And I
didn't get to be there. Last week I was there and I got to feel the baby
kick. I've just been thinking about what it must be like, to have that
inside you. I felt it kick.
EVE
No, that would be too easy, of course. (Reaches for a cigarette.) Too, too
easy. (EVE laughs wearily, looks at clock, closes her eyes.)
DARLENE
Would you let me outta here if I said I was? Pregnant?
-12-
EVE
Now, wait just a minute...
DARLENE
(Beat) Are you?
EVE
What.
DARLENE
Cause if you are, this cigarette stuff has got to stop and I mean now!
EVE
Will you stop with the smoking thing and would you--here. What are we going
to put down here where it says: "Recommendation--Clinical/Socio Evaluation"?
Huh?
DARLENE
I've been thinking about how it's funny that Rita doesn't want her baby so
much, she's just got it, kind of like an acident, and then there's people
like us who don't have any but we want 'em. I just think it's funny.
EVE
(Very tense) Who says I would ever, EVER bring a child into this rotten world
and WHAT pray tell are we going to put in this blank space? The clock is
ticking.
DARLENE
I don't know if there's room on the form for what my answer is.
EVE
I'll write small. (Readies her pen) Trust me.
DARLENE
(Walking about) Well, this week I've been so happy. I've been buying things
for my apartment, and walking around looking at the Thanksgiving decorations.
Pumpkins. I like Autumn almost as much as Christmas time. Easter is good,
too, but sometimes it can still be cold at Easter, and sometimes it's in
April but sometimes it's in March. (EVE makes an impatient gesture) Anyway,
I waslooking forward to seeing Rita's baby. She let me go to her LaMaze
class, in prison. I was a good partner. I learned to count between the
breaths. But now I find out I missed the whole thing. Rita had her
baby--way too early. And the baby's sick--real small. They said the baby
might not make it. That's all they could tell me. I don't know who helped
Rita with her counting and her breathing. I missed the whole thing.
EVE
(Realizing DARLENE has stopped) So you dressed up in order to cheer up this
friend
-13-
(EVE cont.) but you couldn't see her because--
DARLENE
Exactly. I got all--jumbled inside then. Happy cause of the yellow stripes
on my dishtowels and the people blowing up the big balloons for the
parade--did you know that they have to start blowing up those big balloons a
whole day ahead of time??
EVE
Yes, I think I knew that. So you walked--
DARLENE
So part of me was happy and part of me was really sad. (SHE sits) Cause of
thinking about the baby over there in the incubator--that's where the real
small ones go--and maybe that guy, that jerk who Rita says is the father
maybe visiting the baby but not ME, I couldn't see the baby cause I'm not a
relative, but I was the one who braided her hair, and saved up soda crackers
for her to chew on back in the beginning, and read books to her, and now he's
the one who probably gets to see the baby in its incubator.
EVE
So, you walked by the church--
DARLENE
I thought I would go in and light a candle for the baby. I had been walking
and thinking...Wanting to be there and hold it and maybe help name it and all
that. I had been thinking and dreaming about that baby all week. All month.
EVE
I'm beginning to get your drift. Now would you please sit still and stop
swiveling.
DARLENE
What's "swiveling" , anyway?
EVE
Continue, please. Give me a verb. You are obsessed with babies, in
particular your friend's premature crack baby born with her mother's
addiction, probably heroine judging from the--
DARLENE
(Covers her ears) No NOOO! That's not how it is!
EVE
(Shouting, losing control) I thought I asked you to stop swiveling!
DARLENE
Why are you shouting at ME? All I'm doing is what you told me to do and
answer your
-14-
(DARLENE cont.) stupid--
EVE
I don't think it is too much to ask you to stop--
DARLENE
(Loud, overlapping) What is so bad about doing this? Huh? (DARLENE swivels
all the way around) Huh?
EVE
(Sharp and loud) My sister used to do that. That's all. Pure and simple.
Case closed. She used to do it and it drove me crazy and my Dad crazy and my
Mom used to think it was cute and so she would keep doing it, and doing it at
my Dad's desk in the den, swiveling, swiveling, her hair flying around,
whipping around, and giggling.
DARLENE
What, like THIS?
(EVE raises a hand but stops herself just in time, stops the chair instead.
Breathes heavily. DARLENE leans away from her.)
EVE
Don't.
DARLENE
You're mad at me cause your sister used to be cute and stuff at home when you
were growing up? Man, you're kind of weird. No wonder you yell and smoke.
EVE
She was killed last year. The day before Thanksgiving on her way home for
the holidays.
DARLENE
Oh. Oh?
EVE
It was at a tollbooth. This guy behind her didn't stop. It was a freak
accident. No one else was injured. It was instantaneous.
DARLENE
Oh.
EVE
(Faces DARLENE now) And she used to swivel.
DARLENE
(pause) Oh. I get it now.
-15-
EVE
What. What do you "get"?
DARLENE
New Jersey.
EVE
Excuse me?
DARLENE
New Jersey. That's why we have to hurry up and fill in the blanks so you can
get in your car by five O'clock. So you can drive back for Thanksgiving and
be there for your folks. (Pause.) They're still alive, right?
EVE
Yes, they're still alive. Now. Let's finish about where you actually walk
into the area where they were uncrating--
DARLENE
They must have been real sad. Your parents.
EVE
(Pause) Yes.
DARLENE
Was she a younger sister?
EVE
Yes.
DARLENE
I could tell.
EVE
How could you tell?
DARLENE
That swiveling she did when you were growing up? It wouldn't have bothered
you at all if she was the older one. (Beat.) You would have thought it was
kinda cool.
(Beat.) Did she have a nice funeral?
EVE
(Slowly) What in God's name are you doing?
DARLENE
Not swiveling, that's for sure.
-16-
EVE
(Trying to gain control, then losing it) You walked into the church, you saw
the crates of figures. The shepherds, the kings, the camels and sheep and
cows and goats and pigs and elephants and weasels and chimpanzees--
DARLENE
Hold it, hold it--
EVE
(Writing all over the report in huge scrawls) And hippopotami, and dogs and
cats and lizards and salamanders and turtles and gorillas and iguanas and
guinea pigs and hamsters and gerbils.
DARLENE
No.
EVE
(Exhausted, she drops her pen) No?
DARLENE
(Quietly, looking at EVE) Nope.
EVE
Then what happened?
DARLENE
I was thinking about holding Rita's baby. Except in my mind it was my own
baby--something that probably won't ever happen but I dream about it , a lot.
And I reached out-- (DARLENE reaches out towards EVE) And I saw that toe,
sticking out, from the Baby Jesus, and I reached out and I touched it. You
know, just--touched it. (Almost a whisper) Touched--
(DARLENE has touched EVE's arm. EVE stares down at it. The touch releases
something in EVE.)
EVE
Why. Do people. Have to. Drive fast like that?
DARLENE
(Softly) I dunno.
EVE
Why do people, behind a young woman in a Toyota, a twenty-five year old girl
with beautiful long hair going home, with a jack'o lantern in the back seat
left over from Halloween to make into homemade pies--
-17-
DARLENE
(Softly) I dunno.
EVE
--Why do the people in back of them have to drive fast and not look where
they're going?
DARLENE
I dunno. (pause) Why?
EVE
(Turns to face DARLENE, smiles very faintly) The jack o'lantern was
completely in tact.
DARLENE
Maybe you could bring them a pumpkin or a jack'o lantern or something home
for the holidays? It might make them feel better.
EVE
(Simply, sadly) Me? Carve a jack o' lantern? I haven't an artistic bone in
my body...that was her. She did things for all the holidays, you know, even
though she was busy. She was a teacher. (Without jealousy) She
was--perfect. She was perfect, she was. She was everything, she was bright.
She was--whole. She was--everything. Everything in the whole world.
DARLENE
I bet your parents are real nice.
EVE
How would you know?
DARLENE
I'll just bet they are. They live in New Jersey, right?
EVE
(Flustered, scrounges in drawer) I will now get--I am now getting a fresh
sheet of paper and I will START OVER. I will make your file look
so--perfect. It'll be clean, and I'll type it, and I'll drop it off at my
supervisor's and it will have the perfect manila folder and contain just the
right amount of notes and comments on your whole ridiculous situation and the
margins will be correctly spaced and the date will be correct and neatly
neatly typed.
DARLENE
I bet they wouldn't care. If it was neat.
EVE
(Building to a realization)No, no, they wouldn't care, but you know what? I
would care.
-18-
(EVE cont.) I'll care. I want it to look just so.
DARLENE
Or, daffodils are a nice gift. They're my favorite. They're yellow.
EVE
Yes. Yellow.
DARLENE
But you know what? I don't think you can find daffodils at this time of
year. Guess what? I already tried. I couldn't find any. It's kind of
chilly out.
EVE
(Quietly--this time less harsh) It's thirty-five degrees out. It's not chilly, it's freezing.
Like last year at this time. It's freezing, and you're wearing a sundress
and sandals.
DARLENE
Yeah, but they're yellow!
EVE
(Inserting a new sheet in the report) I can't bring daffodils. They
were--a family favorite. It wouldn't be appropriate.
DARLENE
Whaddya mean? They're always appropriate. Everybody likes flowers.
EVE
Not since--last year. People sent so many--flowers. So now my father hates
flowers. What do you bring to a father, anyway? What would you bring to
your father?
DARLENE
My father?
EVE
Yes. What? To your father. A bottle of sherry? A bucket of Kentucky
Fried? What?
DARLENE
Well I don't bring him daffodils.
EVE
Why? What. Is he dead?
DARLENE
You know that thing in there where it says, "Assault and Battery"?
-19-
EVE
In here?
DARLENE
Well it was my father we were assaulting and battering when the police showed
up.
EVE
(Looks at the report) Oh. You're right.
DARLENE
'Course I'm right. I remember it well.
EVE
(Genuinely interested) Why were you--?
DARLENE
With a hammer. It was right nearby, in the toolbox. Cause he was hitting us
again, the jerk.
EVE
"Hitting"?
DARLENE
My ma got ten years cause she got in a few good wacks with the screwdriver.
My arm was broken at the time. My aim was'nt nearly as good as hers.
EVE
I see.
DARLENE
Nope, I don't send him anything, or buy him anything. Not even on his
birthday. Not even on Father's Day.
EVE
Understandably.
DARLENE
But normally, with your folks, I can see where they might really like a big
bouquet of--
EVE
Don't you see? I can't bring them a bottle of Harvey's Bristol Cream. A box
of Godiva chocolates. They lost a daughter. Forever. Squashed, crumpled.
Gone, lost.
DARLENE
(A long pause. THEY stare at each other.) So just bring yourself.
-20-
EVE
(Softly) What?
DARLENE
Yourself.
EVE
(Pause) Oh.
DARLENE
I'm sure they'll be real happy just to see you.
EVE
(This has never occurred to her) You think?
DARLENE
(Warmly) Of course.
EVE
I see.
DARLENE
I'll bet they will be.
EVE
(Holding the report, she sighs) Darlene. Do you see why this report is so
very important?
DARLENE
No, not really.
EVE
(After a quick smile) Because. As soon as this is done I have to get in that
car and drive where she drove and go through that toll and show up at that
door that'll have the Thanksgiving decorations she made in art class and sit
in that den and look at that swivel chair and speak with--them. Do you see?
DARLENE
Yeah.
EVE
You're swiveling again.
DARLENE
Well...I'll tell you something, Miss Eve.
-21-
EVE
Just--Eve.
DARLENE
I'll tell you a real big secret. Something you really oughtta figure out.
When you're sitting in a chair that swivels? Like this one? (Demonstrates)
See? Well, see, it's real hard not to swivel.
EVE
Oh don't be ridiculous.
DARLENE
I would not kid you! You gotta try it!
EVE
I do not need to try it. It's a matter of not letting yourself--and people
like you--and people like her--just don't have the kind of--not letting
yourself just--
DARLENE
(Laughing and moving the swivel chair near EVE) Oh, bulloney!
EVE
--Or else you just do it on purpose, just to drive everyone else crazy.
DARLENE
It's nothing like that, you'll see--
EVE
(Overlapping) I will not "see"--
DARLENE
(Overlapping) Come on! It won't hurt you! I bet you've never even sat in
this kind of chair!
(DARLENE chases EVE around with the chair trying to trap her into sitting in
it.)
EVE
No! I don't need to have a demonstration!
DARLENE
If you'd just sit down and SHUT UP!
(DARLENE finally makes EVE sit in the swivel chair. Silence. DARLENE
looks triumphant. EVE looks pissed off.)
You never sat in it, did you? At your parents' home?
-22-
(EVE shakes her head, "no". Starts to clutch the arms of the chair, nervous.
Closes her eyes.)
(DARLENE, cont.) There. Now. See?
(Very slowly, the chair begins to swivel, EVE starts to relax a tiny bit.)
EVE
She was always the one who sat in it. (Long pause) I didn't know.
DARLENE
See? Now?
(EVE, still with eyes closed, nods.)
EVE
It's kind of like--it's--you can't help it. She couldn't help it. That's
all.
DARLENE
That's all. Kind of like thinking about babies and walking along and trying
to keep smiling and thinking happy thoughts and then, son of a gun, just
coming across--just outta pure luck or something, coming right up on a baby's
toe, just outta the blue.
EVE
Outta the blue.
(EVE slowly opens her eyes, writes something in the folder, closes it, sighs.
Turns to look at DARLENE.)
Darlene?
DARLENE
Yeah?
EVE
Our interview is over.
DARLENE
Really?
EVE
Really. I'm sorry--you didn't like the soup, here. (pause) You are free to
go.
DARLENE
Oh, I know.
-23-
EVE
You know?
DARLENE
Well, strictly speaking, since I didn't steal nothing--anything, I was always
free to go. (pause) I was just staying around to be polite.
EVE
(Smiles) Is that a fact?
DARLENE
I can go?
EVE
Yup. And it's only four thirty-five.
DARLENE
You made it. (pause)
EVE
I still have to pass through a certain toll.
DARLENE
I'm going to the library. Gotta look up some stuff in the cookbook section.
They've got a really good cookbook section.
EVE
Turkey. Dressing.
EVE AND DARLENE
Cranberry sauce.
DARLENE
I'm looking up how to make giblet gravy.
EVE
The library should be just the place.
DARLENE
(Stands) So. Here's the blanket.
EVE
Oh. There's a box of sweaters in the used clothing room. Just ask Mrs.
Garvey out there.
(A pause. THEY stand. EVE initiates a warm handshake.)
-24-
DARLENE
(Walks towards the door, turns back) Wouldn't it be hysterical if there was
a sweater that was--yellow?
EVE
(Smiles) Yes. Hysterical.
(DARLENE exits. EVE tidies papers, glances at the clock thoughtfully, then
looks at the swivel chair. Crosses to it, frowning. Sits. Feels the arms.
Starts to swivel, very slowly. Tries it again. Laughs quietly. Swivels all
the way around, and laughs until the laughter turns into the first tears she
has shed in a long time. She begins to cry with great relief. The lights
FADE on her. CURTAIN.)