GETTING SASHA
by Kate McGrath
Contact: ktmcgrath@rcn.com
2900 School Lane Drexel Hill, PA 19026
(610) 626-5191
Copyright 2001 By Kate McGrath. All rights reserved.
Running time: 20 minutes
Cast:
Two women in their thirties:
ROBIN JOHNSON, a child advocate who helps families in crisis and works with foster and birth parents
to place and evaluate kids, etc. Pretty calm and a bit world weary. Has seen it all.
JESSICA SCHWARTZ-HALL, a wired woman. Over-educated and privileged, she is in denial about her
abuse of her daughter, whom she really loves deeply.. Bitter but with an odd, quirky sense of humor.
At times witty, but there’s an edge.
Setting: JESSICA’s lovely home: living room with perhaps bits of dining room or kitchen counter visible.
Sculpture and tasteful furniture also visible. A sculpture of a sleeping cat lies on a pedestal or a
bookcase in a prominent place in the room. The rug is littered with medium sized cardboard boxes and
heaps of tissue paper spill out.
Time: The present.
(AT RISE we hear classical music coming from all around us, a beautiful piece, perhaps an adagio
movement with sweeping and mournful strings, cello...The lights rise and the music is coming from the
stereo system in the living room. ROBIN JOHNSON, a case worker in her thirties, wearing a blazer and
jeans, is standing there, holding an empty urine sample cup in an outstretched hand. ROBIN faces
JESSICA SCHWARTZ-HALL, a beautiful woman in her thirties, who has her hands on her hips, wears
an expensive pants suit and jewelry, and has her hair swept up into an elaborate bun.)
ROBIN
I need you to pee in this cup.
JESSICA
My dear. You must be out of your mind.
ROBIN
Actually, no. I need you to pee in this cup.
JESSICA
(Turns the volume down on the stereo) Where is my daughter?
ROBIN
With the Winikurs. As you know.
JESSICA
Don’t be smug, Robin. It’s Robin, isn’t it? I knew it was a bird.
-2-
(JESSICA, cont.) Anyway, don’t be smug, it doesn’t become one in your profession.
ROBIN
The purpose of my visit–
JESSICA
Is to annoy me. You have far exceeded your goal. I feel a migraine coming on and I have to label and
organize all of these little sculptures for tomorrow’s gallery opening. I have no intention of “peeing” in
your little plastic cup, so you have wasted the trip.
ROBIN
It is part of the process of trying to reunite you with your daughter. (Pause) Along with some
behavioral issues--
JESSICA
(In denial, feigning) And what does that cup have to do with Sasha?
ROBIN
Jessica. Last time I was here I spoke with you very candidly about your drug use–
JESSICA
(Shrilly) PAST drug use, you should say, because we discussed at length the commitment I made to all
of you people, I made in order to get Sasha back here where she belongs. And trying to make nicey-
nice with those American Gothic models of Jesse Helms conservatism you’ve stuck her with-- Damn. I
never should have said this was a good time for you to come over because it isn’t. It is not a good
time.
ROBIN
Not a good time for me to be here, or not a good time to pee in this cup?
JESSICA
Neither, actually. I’m a busy woman, Robin. I’m on deadline–In this case it’s the god-awful “Children
First” Art Exhibit I was insane enough to offer to curate. Actually, my colleague Carlos thought it might
be good therapy for me considering this whole mess with Sasha–remind me to fire Carlos, by the way.
So. I too have a large number of individuals depending on me. So if you will excuse me, we’ll have to
re-schedule.
ROBIN
Not so simple. I will have to report that you refused to take the drug test that you agreed to take,
weekly, as part of your rehabilitation in order to get your daughter back. It’s gonna go down on your
record, and I’m not sure you want that, all things considered.
JESSICA
Ah, now we are reading our mind, are we?
ROBIN
We’ve also got to see how you interact with Sasha.
-3-
JESSICA
(Opening a box and extracting a small sculpture of a snake–startled) Christ! (She makes a note on a
clipboard and kicks the box into a corner) “Snake”. (Hands the sculpture to ROBIN) Here. Make
yourself useful. (ROBIN puts the snake on the kitchen counter.) You mean the whole temper thing?
How can I interact with her when I only see her once a week?
ROBIN
Sometimes you make me think that you really don’t want your daughter back.
JESSICA
(Quietly) How the hell would you know what I want or don’t want. Or what is best for Sasha.
ROBIN
(Simply) She’s five.
JESSICA
I know how old my daughter is, thank you. She has a birthday coming up. We had made all kinds of
plans for it. I want her home with me by that birthday. (Picks up another piece, this one is a teddy
bear. SHE hands it to ROBIN and makes a note on the clipboard again, ROBIN places the teddy bear
on the counter, exasperated.)
ROBIN
That’s a great goal to keep in mind. (Pause) I need you to pee in this cup.
JESSICA
(Writing) “Bear” (Sighs)You know, I’m really an angel these days. These little buggers all over the
floor are driving me nuts, but I haven’t hit a single one of them with a hairbrush! (Sudden attempt at
humor) You’re a brash young hussy, you know that? Standing there with your plastic cup. Do you
know the only time I ever really had to pee in a cup was when I was pregnant with Sasha? Oh, I loved
it. The–regularity of it...each visit to my OB GYN. The predictability of it. Of course back then they
were checking my glucose level or something. Not cocaine. My, how time flies. Same stupid cup.
ROBIN
Same stupid cup.
JESSICA
(A longish pause, then a dramatic sigh) Well.....crap. If you’re gonna stand there like that–how about
we have something to make me pee. Because I can’t do it right now. If at all. I don’t feel like I have it
in me. Ha. Anyway, would you care for a cup of green tea? It’s chockful of anti-oxidents and caffeine
and makes you pee pretty quick. Last time I had a gallery opening I drank a whole pot of green tea to
keep myself awake and I had to hop from one leg to another while chatting up the local arts press.
Terribly unnerving. See, now, I should probably be arrested for using green tea as a stimulant and
have my mommy’s license revoked for all time. I could be giving Sasha improper care under the
influence of China’s best kept secret to longevity!
-4-
ROBIN
Actually, I’d love a cup of tea. With honey, if you have it. I’ve been driving around for hours doing
visitations and all morning I was in court.
JESSICA
(Scurries to the kitchen and we hear her put a kettle on) Do tell! Any interesting cases?
ROBIN
(Chatty, going along with this chattiness up to a point) Oh, you mean like something nasty, or taboo?
JESSICA
(Shouting, off) Oooh, like that, please. Something juicy. You talk, and I’ll try to think of waterfalls.
Rainstorms.
ROBIN
Well, there was this one case...
JESSICA
(Returning with a tray of cookies and cups, all delicate and beautifully crafted.)
Yes?
ROBIN
(False letdown) Ohhhh. Sorry. Confidentiality. You know. Can’t talk about the cases.
JESSICA
Oh you little tease.
ROBIN
Except for yours. (Sudden burst of energy) Sasha is doing really well with the Winikurs. In two weeks
she has started talking up a storm and she gets along quite well with Christopher, their son. You
remember they have a son who is a year older than Sasha? And she has shown signs of relaxation at
kindergarten. She actually naps. Remember that you mentioned her sleep problems to me during the
intial–
JESSICA
(Bangs down the plate of cookies in front of ROBIN.) Fine. Wonderful. But what the hell is really
going on with her? How does she feel about all of this? I can tell that that woman is right there during
every phone call. I can hear her breathing. Sasha can’t really talk freely to me with someone either
listening in or–
ROBIN
We can arrange for private phone conversations.
JESSICA
Well why the hell didn’t “we” opt for that before this? (This suddenly comes out) I can’t hit her over the
phone, can I? (Long pause, then) I promise to keep my voice soft and loving.
ROBIN
Sasha needs to hear your voice. She also needs to know that we are all working together to get
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this situation fixed. More stable. Mrs. Winikur said she thought it best that she be at the phone with
Sasha the first few times–
JESSICA
Oh so now we are taking all our cues from Foster mother of the Year Mrs, Winikur–Mrs. Save- the
Planet -yes -I -am- sure- I -am- eternally- grateful -to -her- for -her- drug-free, bosomy -chocolate
chip- cookie -warmth -and all, but how can I say what I want to say to my own daughter when she’s
BREATHING LIKE A BOVINE INTO THE RECEIVER!
(We hear a tea kettle whistle.)
Hold that thought.
(JESSICA exits back to the kitchen area. ROBIN rises, stretches, crosses to the cat sculpture in the
living room.)
ROBIN
I was just admiring this piece.
JESSICA
(From off)Oh. That’s not one of the ones for the–
ROBIN
I know. I noticed it last time I was here.
JESSICA
It’s got that great “energy at rest” feeling, don’t you think?
ROBIN
Ahh, yes. Is it a leopard?
JESSICA
The artist told me it was in the cat family, whatever the hell that means.
ROBIN
It’s a bit hard to tell because the cat is curled so tightly. Sleeping.
JESSICA
Yes, so it is. (Pouring water into her cup) Here, you’ll have to let this steep a bit or it tastes like–you’ll
pardon the expression–piss water.
ROBIN
Thanks. (She dunks her tea bag up and down, looks at JESSICA’s empty cup and clears her throat)
Of course I’m not the one who really needs to drink it.
JESSICA
(Sighing, pouring her own cup of tea) Say, speaking of which, don’t you have topee in a cup at some
stage–aren’t you a state employee? Isn’t there some kind of–
-6-
ROBIN
County, actually. Not recently. I’m sure I’ll be required to “at some stage”.
JESSICA
(Offering honey) Please, Robin..Lighten up, I was just curious. We must be lovey-dovey. After all, you
are holding my daughter prisoner, and here we are, schmoozing. Have a Milano cookie.
ROBIN
(pause) Do you miss your daughter?
JESSICA
(Quietly) What a question.
ROBIN
She misses you. A lot. I saw her yesterday. I– (pause) She wants to be here. With you. She misses
you enormously and is still a bit confused. It isn’t just affection she wants–which the bovine Mrs.
Winikur can certainly dole out short term. It’s–you.
JESSICA
The whole messy, obnoxious, smothering–
ROBIN
Yep
JESSICA
(Slowly) I know you people, you do-gooders–
ROBIN
Please don’t lump me into a category like that–I’m doing my job.
JESSICA
(With an odd smile) Fair enough. I know you don’t have children. You told me that last time. (Pause)
You cannot imagine. Cannot probably imagine how anyone with a child in their care, anyone like me
could ever–you know Sasha never once saw me do drugs. Not ever–not once.
ROBIN
(Helpfully) I know.
JESSICA
(She walks slowly over to the sculpture and stops, staring at it) I would make sure she always had
plenty of art supplies on hand. You know, playdough, finger paints, crayons, lots of yarn and I got her
a set of wonderful pastels–the real kind, not the kiddie kind. This was during the worst of the coke-
head phase, last November. I’d spread it out on the dining room table, right over there, and say to her
“Sasha. It’s time to create something beautiful. Let’s make something truly gorgeous, that will be a
source of pleasure for all who see it.” I would sit down next to her and we would start a project. I
would watch her fascination with clay. With a pipe cleaner.
-7-
Oragami. We’d be cheek to cheek, each looking at the materials, at the way things were forming, at
the colors coming together or setting each other off. I could feel her excitement and her–intensity.
Then something would motivate her to change the little collage or sculpture she was working on and it
would be the right change. The exact right twist or splash of color in the exact right place. I would
think: this is the brilliance she is born with. This is separate from me. This will go on forever. (Pause,
then darkly) And I have nothing to do with this.
ROBIN
She’s five years old.
JESSICA
By the by, any moron could tell you that’s not a leopard. (Pause) Leopards have the spots, don’t they?
See, I’m hopeless at the whole animal thing. “C- for animal identification!” If Sasha were here she’d
have all these little critters ship-shape in no time.
ROBIN
(Pause, ROBIN pats the cat sculpture gently, sees JESSICA flinch and stops.) Your daughter says
she hopes her “Sleeping Cat” is watching over you. Is “taking care of Mommy”.
JESSICA
(Facing away, almost breaking down) She said that?
ROBIN
Drink your tea.(Hands her the tea cup) For real this time. She has a birthday coming up.
JESSICA
(Facing ROBIN, then after a silence:) I’m clean, you know?
ROBIN
(Gently) Good.
JESSICA
Clean as a whistle. (THEY both contemplate the sculpture of the sleeping cat)
ROBIN
(Very quietly. They are in the exact same positions they started the play in) I need you to pee in this
cup.
(JESSICA strokes the sleeping cat ever so gently. She sighs, lifts her own cup of green tea, and starts
to drink it, pauses to toast the cat, then drinks. Lights dim, music up. END OF PLAY)