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When Lilacs Last 
Theater Words offers royalty free plays and scenes, plays for women, plays for Black actors, African American plays, plays with gay themes, ten minutes plays, scenes, plays for children, plays for small theater groups, created by the Performing Arts Department of The Shipley School.

When Lilacs Last (NY Fringe) Act Two
_  ACT TWO


SCENE

(We see JACKIE slowly rise.  He stands sobbing and searches for his book.  JACKIE moves down center to the apron.  He sits on the front stoop.  Still sobbing, he is  smoothing out the pages of his Whitman.  )

 

CHORUS:

That shadow my likeness that goes to and fro seeking a livelihood,

      chattering, chaffering,

  How often I find myself standing and looking at it where it flits,

  How often I question and doubt whether that is really me;

  But among my lovers and caroling these songs,

  O I never doubt whether that is really me.

 
(BRENDAN enters.)
 

BRENDAN: 

Hey Jackie, I was just going to call up to you.

I was just on my way home from practice

And hoping I would catch you.

Was gonna call up to you.

Didn't think you'd be out here.

 

JACKIE:  Hey,  BRENDAN, how's it going?

 

BRENDAN:  Yeh, I was wondering if I would catch you.

Just wondering on my way home.

(beat)

(BRENDAN looks slowly at JACKIE.)

You ok?  You look like you’ve been…

 

JACKIE:  Yeh, fine. Just got something in my eye.

 

BRENDAN: You reading your poems?

 

JACKIE: Yeh. Same old thing.

 

BRENDAN: I gotta tell you.  I've been working on that poem.

You know...

 

JACKIE: "When lilacs..."

 

BRENDAN: Yeh, that one.

I think I'm gonna be ready for the test.

I really am.

 

JACKIE: Yeh, I'm sure you'll do fine.

 

BRENDAN: Well, I couldn't have done  it myself.

 You really helped me out.

(BRENDAN pats JACKIE on the back.)

 

JACKIE: That's ok.  ( as BRENDAN pats) It's ok.

 

BRENDAN:  You know,  there's another part in that poem.

I wanted to ask you about.

I think I get it, but I'm not sure.

 

JACKIE: What part is that?

 

BRENDAN: Let me see your book.

(beat)

( as an aside thought.)

How come you're reading it out on the stoop?

 

JACKIE: Hot inside. 

Just wanted to get outside

Get some fresh air.

 

BRENDAN:  Yeh, . .is warm tonight.

(beat)

But, look, you can see some stars.

 

JACKIE: Stars?

 

BRENDAN: Yeh, the stars.

 

JACKIE:  You look at the stars?

 

BRENDAN: Yeh, I do.

 

JACKIE: I wouldn't have figured you .....

 

BRENDAN:

Why, cause I'm .... a jock? ( he laughs as himself.)

 

JACKIE:

Sorry, I didn't mean.

 

BRENDAN: No, it's OK.

It's like you said before.

It's what people expect.

 

(Taps himself on the head.)

 

Bucket head ( he laughs.)

 

JACKIE: Sorry.

 

BRENDAN: No, really.

It's ok,

See,

I like looking up there
Like looking at the stars.


I like looking up there and just wondering.

Wonder if there's anybody up there?

You ever wonder that?

 

JACKIE: Yeh, I guess

Sometimes.

 

BRENDAN:  You know,

 They say that if you get away from here

Get away from the city

Get way outside

Outside in the country

The sky is white with stars

So many you can't even imagine/

 

JACKIE: You mean like the Milky Way.

 

BRENDAN: Yeh, the Milky Way.

(beat)

BRENDAN: You ever been out of the city?

 

JACKIE: My dad took us to the shore once.

 

BRENDAN: Never been there.

Never even saw the ocean.

 

JACKIE: You've never seen the ocean?

 

BRENDAN: Nope. 

 

JACKIE: Really?

 

BRENDAN: Never.

(beat)

Except in movies.

(beat)

Maybe when they finish the bridge.

 

JACKIE: Yeh, maybe.

 

(long beat as BRENDAN catches himself looking too intently at JACKIE)

 

BRENDAN: (Suddenly) But you have all your books.

( he takes the book.)

So, anyway.

I want to show you this part.

Gotta find it.

(BRENDAN takes JACKIE'S book.)

Wait, this isn't the right one.

This isn't our book from school.

 

JACKIE:

No, but it has the poem.

 

BRENDAN:

It does

Where?

Where is it in this book?

 

JACKIE: Here.

Right here...

Let me find it for you ....

Let me find it.

(JACKIE opens his book to the right page.)

Here you go.

 

BRENDAN:

Yeh,

Yeh,

Hold on.

 

Where's that part?

Where's that part? (looking at the book.)

Down here somewhere. ( he searches.)

Yeh, here it is.

 

 

 ( He reads from the book .He reads slowly and with intent.)

            O cruel hands that hold me powerless -- O helpless soul of me!
            O harsh surrounding cloud that will not free my soul.


 

(Beat)

 

 

BRENDAN: (Looking directly at Jackie.)  Yeh.  I mean.. I think I get this part.

(beat)

“Cruel hands….”

(beat)

Yeh,

Yeh,

I know....

I know what this means.

(There is a silent, uncomfortable moment where Brendan catches Jackie's eyes.)

I know what it means.

Do you.....?

(beat)

 

JACKIE: (interrupting the moment.) I told you it's not that hard.

 

BRENDAN: Yeh,

Not that hard.

(Continuing hesitantly.)

Can I ask you something?

 

JACKIE: Sure, what?

 

BRENDAN: When you….

When you and your dad…

(beat)

Has your dad ever….?

 

JACKIE: Has my dad ever what?

 

BRENDAN: I don't know.

(beat)

You ever talk to him about this stuff.

 

JACKIE: What stuff?

 

BRENDAN: You know, ....

 poems and all?

 

JACKIE:  Poems?. ....

my pop?....

poems?. ..

No.

 

_  BRENDAN:  mine neither.

(beat)

Oh.

What the fuck...

(BRENDAN slaps JACKIE on the back.)

 

JACKIE: (laughing)  Yeh. ...What the fuck...

 

( A long pause.  An uncomfortable silence.)

 

BRENDAN: (suddenly serious)  Do believe in God?

 

JACKIE:  (taken aback by the abrupt question.)Do I what?

 

BRENDAN: God?

Do you believe in God?

 

JACKIE: Why do you ask that?

 

BRENDAN: Because, sometimes I wonder.

(beat)

JACKIE: Wonder what?

 

BRENDAN: I mean I wonder why?

I wonder why  things are

the way they are?

(beat)

You know...

Why some people

some people

are the way they are.

 

JACKIE: They just are

that's all.

 

BRENDAN: Yeh,

But do you think...

Do you think there is a plan?

 

JACKIE:  A plan?

 

BRENDAN: Yeh,

You know...

How they say everything  has  some purpose...

A reason....

 

JACKIE:( indifferent)  I doubt it.

 

BRENDAN: (continuing without listening.)

 I mean,

Does he make us

make us the way we are?

 

JACKIE: Who?

 

BRENDAN: You know, God....

 

JACKIE:  (deliberately) I think we make ourselves.

 

BRENDAN: Just us?

 

JACKIE: Just us.

 

BRENDAN: So, then you don't..

Don't believe in God.

 

JACKIE: No,

No, I don't...

 

BRENDAN: Really?

You don't?

 

JACKIE: No,

I don't.

 

BRENDAN: So, who made all this?

 

JACKIE: Nobody.

 

BRENDAN: Nobody?

 

JACKIE: Nobody.

(beat)

No,

Nobody...

(somewhat angrily.)

Why do have to have somebody?

They're just there

That's all.

It's just that way!

 

BRENDAN: So, what about Jesus, and

saints....

(beat)

and the pope?

 

JACKIE:

Brendan,

What are you talking about?

It's all stories.

All stories

They're just all stories.

 

BRENDAN: But what about when you die?

 

JACKIE: Nothing.

 

BRENDAN: Nothing?

 

JACKIE: You die.

 

BRENDAN: Nothing happens?

 

JACKIE:  No,

Nothing happens.

BRENDAN

Nothing,

(JACKIE pages through LEAVES OF GRASS.)

Look,

( he finds the page.)

Listen.

 Let me read you this.

   I saw battle-corpses, myriads of them,

  And the white skeletons of young men, I saw them,

  I saw the debris and debris of all the slain soldiers of the war,

  But I saw they were not as was thought,

  They themselves were fully at rest, they suffer'd not,

  The living remain'd and suffer'd, the mother suffer'd,

  And the wife and the child and the musing comrade suffer'd,

  And the armies that remain'd suffer'd.

(beat)

You see what he says.

What he says about The dead...

the dead soldiers

they fought

These soldiers fought

But, they died

They were killed.

They were killed and now,

now,

 once they been killed

 they're fully at rest.

(beat)

It's the ones who are still alive

The ones still alive

who have to suffer.

They have to suffer,

Because they're still fighting.

Still fighting.

Everything they do.

They're still fighting.

(beat)

Do you get that?

Does your jock football head get that?

Does it?

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I suppose.

 

JACKIE: (beat)

It's the dead ones

The dead ones who don't have to fight.

They don't have to care

Not anymore.

(beat)

(tapping the book.)

It's from the same poem.

The same poem you read in school

The same poem you studied with me

Only in school they don't read this part.

They don't read it.

 

BRENDAN:  I'm not sure I get it,

Get what you're saying.

 

JACKIE:  For you I guess not.

You have everything.

You're a star

Girls love you

The guys worship you.

Even teachers stand aside for you.

For you a god makes everything perfect.

I'm sorry BRENDAN

But it's not like that for me.

 

BRENDAN:  JACKIE...

I didn't mean.....

 

JACKIE: And what for  the rest of us?

God?

A plan?

The thing is...

I doubt it.

For the rest of us

For the rest of us

There is  nothing else.

Just us.

Nothing else.

Just what we have.

What we have to live with.

 

BRENDAN: So, 

what are you saying?

(beat)

What are you saying?

(beat)

You mean,

You mean there is no God?

 

JACKIE: No.

There isn't.

There is no god.

(beat)

It's just us.

Just us.

 

BRENDAN: Then,

Then, what is there?

 

(quickly)

 

JACKIE: This is what is there.

This Brendan.

This is all we have.

(beat)

 

BRENDAN; So ....

 

JACKIE: So what?

 

BRENDAN: So, you don't think that there's a plan?

That there's a reason?

That things happen for a reason?

 

JACKIE:

Look,

the way I see it

the way I see it.

If there were a god.

A good god with a plan

A plan with reasons

Then he sure made a mess of it.

A mess of those reasons.

If there's a god,

he must be playing joke

Some really sick joke.

 

BRENDAN: Yeh,

 

JACKIE: A sick joke.

 

BRENDAN: A joke?

 Not really funny is it?

 

JACKIE: No,

It's not funny.

(beat)

BRENDAN: I guess it can be a mess,

Can't it? .

(PAUSE)

(BRENDAN looks at JACKIE.  A moment of still silence. )

 

BRENDAN: (recomposing himself)

 So,

What a dope.

(beat)

What am I saying

What am I saying,  anyway?

Stupid isn't it?

(He nudges Jackie with his elbow.)

I'm just a dope.

You know,

Bucket head jock.

 

BRENDAN: (thinks quietly for a moment.)

You know.

I really like talking to you about this stuff.

(beat)

Funny, 'cause I never thought I would.

But you know.

You showed me something.

You really did.

 

JACKIE:  That’s ok.

 

BRENDAN: No, really.

I get this poetry stuff now.

I get it.

(beat)

You know.

I like talking to you.

Just talking to you.

I do.

(beat)

And I like this poem.

 

JACKIE: Hey, listen, if you really like it I'll lend you this book.   The poetry book they give us in school only has  part of the poem.   There's more, like I showed you and Whitman wrote tons of others. 

See.

 (he shows him the cover of Leaves of Grass.)

The whole thing's called "Leaves of Grass."

"Leaves of Grass" by Walt Whitman.

 

BRENDAN: Walt Whitman!!

 

JACKIE: Yeh.

 

BRENDAN: Whitman?

 

JACKIE: Yeh,

Walt Whitman.

 

BRENDAN: Whitman?

You mean the bridge guy?!

(beat)

 

JACKIE: Yeh.

 

BRENDAN: Wait a minute.

You mean, the poem that's in our book

The poem that's in school

The poem is the bridge guy?

 

_ JACKIE:

Yeh.

(beat)

You just read it.

Walt Whitman.

 

BRENDAN:

I didn't know that.

(beat)

 

JACKIE: But it's right in our book.

In our book at school.

 

BRENDAN: Yeh, maybe.

But I didn't know that!



JACKIE: You really don't get it.

Do you. BRENDAN?

Look, Walt Whitman.

(he shows him the book title.)

Here it is.

 

BRENDAN: Now that you say it....

(beat)

I guess I never paid attention.

Never put it together.

 

JACKIE: Yeh, it's the same person.

 

BRENDAN: I still don't get it.

If we read it in school

What's the problem?

What's the big deal?

 

JACKIE

Because that's not all he wrote

 he wrote other things.

 

BRENDAN:

Other things?

 

JACKIE:

Yes.... not just this poem.

 

BRENDAN:

So,  what else?

 

JACKIE: What else?

(beat)

Other things.

I just read you some.

Some of what else he wrote.

 

BRENDAN: But that was about soldiers.

About soldiers dying.

 

JACKIE: Yeh, Soldiers

Soldiers dying

But he also wrote about other things.

About soldiers loving.

 

BRENDAN: You mean that stuff they’re all talking about?

(beat)

That faggot stuff?

 

JACKIE:

Yeh, if you want to,

Yeh,

That faggot stuff.

(beat)

 Look, BRENDAN,

 I just like to read.

I don’t listen to them.

I listen to this ( he points to the book.)

This guy's talking.

He's talking to me.

 

 

BRENDAN: Yeh, but does he really write about that stuff?

You know…

What they say?

 

JACKIE:

What they say?

They’re poems. 

Poems.

That’s all.

Here. 

(He offers him the book.)

Borrow it and see for yourself.

 

BRENDAN: No, man, that's ok.

 I’m not messin’ with any of that stuff.

One poem at a time's enough for me.

Thanks.

 

(Beat)

(BRENDAN turns to go, then turns back.)

 

BRENDAN: Maybe….

 

(BRENDAN takes the book.  He looks at it for a moment, then hands it back.)

No.

Maybe not. 

Thanks. 

(beat)

(BRENDAN asks hopefully.)

Say,

You have time for a Cherry Coke down at Greenberg's?

 

JACKIE: (shakes his head, "No.")

 

BRENDAN: Sure?

 

JACKIE: Sure...

 

BRENDAN: Ok.

See ya later.

__________________________________________

 

SCENE

 

BRENDAN:  Yes, I talked to Jackie

Yes, I saw him almost every day.

Always after school.

At his house.

On his front stoop.

I called.

I called to him

"Jackie, you there?"

Called to the front window

Called and he was there

We talked on the stoop

We talked in his room

We talked to each other

We talked as friends.

But always alone.

And never in class

Never at lunch

Never in the halls.

Never in the lockers.

(beat)

Still, somehow they must have seen me.

My friends must have seen me.

(beat)

My friends.

My friends in class.

My friends on the field.

My friends in the hall.

All the people I knew.

People who liked me.

Who said they liked me.

They knew

(stop)

So, then at school.

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CHORUS

 

1. you hang around with that guy?

 

2. Don't be fooling around with that stuff.

 

3. You know what those guys are like.

 

4. Yeh, "fairy nice fella."

 

1. Sick

 

2. Kick his ass.

 

3. Man, don't even say it.

 

4. Plays on the other side of the fence.

 

1. Fuckin'  homos

 

2. You know what he wants.

 

3. Queers.

 

4. Don't even say it.

 

-----------------------------------------------------

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SCENE ( lights down on CHORUS, up on BRENDAN.)

 

BRENDAN:

They spoke

They had something to say.

I heard  them

I knew what they said.

I knew them

I knew me.

Where else could I go?

Where else could I be?

Only JACKIE

JACKIE

Who else was there?

Who else?

Who else talked to me?

Really talked to me?

To me?

 (beat)

 

 

 

BRENDAN: ( continues  addressing the audience from SL.  Lights gradually come up on JIMMY.  He's drinking a beer and watching the TV. BRENDAN continues.)

Those Friday nights.

Those Friday nights together.

Friday nights on the couch.

Friday night in front of the TV.

The Friday night fights.

Just him and me.

Just him and me.

We watched every fight.

On a left hook...

 

JIMMY: (lights full up on JIMMY CS.)

“What the fuck” .

 

BRENDAN:

A slip.....

JIMMY:

“What’s wrong with that asshole?”

BRENDAN.

We’re together.

Father and son.

He talks.

He talks.

But not to me.

To the screen..

To the voice.

To the ring.

He talks to the TV.

But he never talks to me.

Fixed on the screen.

He never looks my way.

Never see his eyes.

 

JIMMY: (he is smoking a cigarette.)

Now, that was a fight!

Hey, get me another beer, will ya,  BRENDAN?

Need another beer after that fight.

(Brendan now moves into the scene. He goes for another beer for his father.)

Marciano, man.

Marciano.

I’m tellin’ you.  Them guinnie wops and them cullerds.

They know how ta fight.

These guys really have it down!

(beat)

'At's 'ere way  (that's their way)

Know what I means?!"

"Em greaseballs, an'  'em colerds."

( BRENDAN hands his father another beer. JIMMY  opens the bottle.  Sips. Spits out the beer.)

JIMMY :

What the f…….

(half beat)

This beer’s hot!

BRENDAN:

Shouldn’t be.

 

JIMMY:

I said, it’s hot.


BRENDAN:


But...

JIMMY:

You counterdictin'  me?

BRENDAN:

No, pop…..

JIMMY: (JIMMY slowly rises  from his chair and advances toward BRENDAN.)

What you say?

BRENDAN:

Nothin' Pop.

JIMMY:

(Jimmy, with the cigarette between his teeth,  begins to slap Brendan, one side then the other with each exchange.)

You counterdictin' me?

(slap)

What’s your problem?

(slap)

What’s your problem, boy?

(slap)

 

BRENDAN:

I got it from the frige…..

JIMMY:

This beer’s fuckin hot.

 (he grabs BRENDAN by the arm, twists it behind him)

BRENDAN: (imploring.)

It didn’t feel warm when I picked it up.

JIMMY:

Didn’t feel warm?

(beat)

Didn’t feel warm?

(twists BRENDAN’s arm tighter.)

You dumb shit!

Stupid cunt!

Stupid boy cunt!

What the fuck you know?

BRENDAN:

Please, Pop.

No! 

JIMMY:

What the fuck you know?

(beat)

Like yer ol' lady.

You fuckin' looser/.

(semi beat)

(JIMMY takes on a violent self')

JIMMY:

You like warm beer?

Warm?

You like it warm?

Wanna know what the fuck warm is?

BRENDAN:

No Pa, No!

JIMMY:

Wanna know?

Heh? 

Ya wannah know?

Wanna know?

 

 

BRENDAN:

No, Pa,

No.

 

JIMMY: (He raises the cigarette. )

You want warm.

Here’s warm.

(beat)

Here’s warm.

Here’s fuckin’ hot.

(JIMMY  presses his lit cigarette into BRENDAN’s neck. )

(BRENDAN writhes and slips to the floor. )

JIMMY:

You stupid fuckin' girly cunt!

 JIMMY: (becoming even more possessed and fitful goes back for the bottle of beer.)

You can't get nothin’ right?

Nothin'.

(beat)

You’re like your ol’ lady.

that stupid bitch.

A stupid bitch....

Gin whore....

Gin whore went runnin' off.

(BRENDAN is still on the floor.)

(beat)

JIMMY: (Putting his foot on BRENDAN’S chest and pouring the beer in his face.)

Here you little creep.

Piss on you.

Go on.

( He bends and pours the beer into BRENDAN’s face.)

Go on.

Drink it.

Drink my piss.

 

BRENDAN:

No, Pop,

No

I don’t like....

 

JIMMY:

Go ahead you little pussy.

Go ahead.

Drink it.

Go ahead.

You drink it.

You drink it warm.

Warm. 

Drink it warm.

Like piss.

(There is a pause as JIMMY stagers and slowly straightens himself.  He look down at Brendan. JIMMY kicks BRENDAN who is still writhing on the floor. )

JIMMY: (Wiping him mouth with the back of his sleeve.)

Cry Baby.

(beat)

You ain't never gonna be a man!

(quietly)

Fuck.

( as he puts on his jacket.)

Ahm gone down to Sharkies.

(beat)

Pussy kid

(JIMMY exits.)

_______________________________________

(Brendan remains lit  DSC as the chorus speaks.)

_ SCENE

CHORUS

THERE was a child went forth every day;

 

And the first object he look’upon that object he became;

 

And that object became part of him for the day, or a certain part of the day, or for many years, or stretching cycles of years.

 

 

The early lilacs became part of this child,

 

And grass, and white and red morning-glories, and white and red clover, and the song of the phoebe-bird,

 

( BRENDANslowly rises from the floor and comes downstage.)

BRENDAN:

(looking to where his father has just exited.)

Pa.

(beat)

Pa.

(beat)

(BRENDAN turns to the audience.)

Was I a good son?

(beat)

You tell me.

(beat)

Oh, I did everything a good son would do.

I was there for him.

He was all there was to me.

I tried.

(beat)

I tried.

His dinner...

(beat)

I was there.

His shirts....

(beat)

Ready in the morning.

(beat)

Even the collar...

Even the buttons...

(beat)

I pressed them.

I fixed them.

And on the field...

On that field he loved....

On that court he envied....

On the diamond he ran.....

I was out there every day.

In fall, out there arching that goal post pass.

In winter, sinking that final basket.

In spring, that grasping outing glove.

Just for him

Football

Basketball

Baseball

(beat)

The touchdown.

The basket

The run…

Out there ready

Always ready.

Always

I loved him.

How much I loved him.

How long I waited?

How silently I waited..

Waited for his arms.

Waited for his touch.

(beat)

Waited for his kiss.

(long pause)

Hold me!

(beat)

(BRENDAN cries out in torment)

Let me touch you!

(beat)

(Then quietly)

Your arms around me.

(beat)

your face against mine.

(beat)
Did you love me?


(beat)

Did you love me?

(beat)

In every way.....

There was no better son.

_________________________________________________________

 

SCENE (continues)

BRENDAN:   But,

Seeing JACKIE

Seeing JACKIE was the only time

The only time I was free

The only time I was happy,

The only time I felt like something.

Seeing JACKIE was the only thing that felt good.

The only thing that.....

(beat)

That,

(beat)

I don't know.

(beat)

(it was) The only thing.

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BRENDAN:  JACKIE, hey, JACKIE, you home?

 

JACKIE: Yeh. What's up?

 

BRENDAN: Got a minute?

 

JACKIE: Sure. I'll be right out.

 

(JACKIE and BRENDAN move center stage.)

 

BRENDAN. Hey, how's it goin'?

 

JACKIE:

(beat)

Whoa! Hey, what happened to you?

 

BRENDAN: Oh, got tackled I guess.

 

JACKIE: Sure looks like it.

You like to get beat up like that?

 

BRENDAN: Hey,

That's part of the game.

 

JACKIE: I suppose so.

(beat)

So, what’s up?

 

BRENDAN:  I just wanted to tell you..

The test.

The essay test.

I passed.

Passed with a "C",

But I passed.

I gotta say. 

You really helped me make sense of that poem.

 

JACKIE:  Sure.  No problem.

 

BRENDAN: No really. 

You helped me a lot.

 

JACKIE: It's ok.

(beat)

BRENDAN: Yeh.

 

JACKIE:

So,

Now you can play.

Play in the game..

 

BRENDAN:

Yeh.

I can play.

Makes my old man happy.

 

JACKIE: See,

I told you you could do it.

 

BRENDAN:

Yeh,

You did.

 

JACKIE:

So, you're  on your own now.

 

BRENDAN:

On my own?

 

JACKIE:

Yeh, you passed the test.

You get the poem.

You see what it means.

 

BRENDAN:

Oh,

Yeh,

(beat)

Well.

Well, we can still talk, right?

 

JACKIE:

Sure.

 

BRENDAN:

Yeh.

 

JACKIE: And you won't have to worry about your friends.

 

BRENDAN:

Worry about my friends?

 

JACKIE:

Look,

I know.

 

BRENDAN:

I....

 

JACKIE:

You don't have to explain.

 

BRENDAN:

But.

(beat)

Oh,

What do they know?

(beat)

You know.

It's not just that poem.

Not just about Lilacs.

(beat)

You know....

The other things..

The other things too.

I mean about god and all.

 

JACKIE: Oh, forget it.

I was just talking.,

 

BRENDAN: No,

really.

I've been thinking about that.

(beat)

That it's maybe just a joke....

 

(pause)

 

So, what am I saying?

(BRENDAN gives a forced laugh.)

What am I saying,  anyway?

Stupid isn't it?

(He nudges Jackie with his elbow.)

I'm just a dope.

You know,

Bucket head jock.

(beat)

(Addressing Jackie again with a different tone.)

Laugh!

(beat)

Go ahead...

(Brendan pokes Jackie playfully in the side.)

(beat)

Laugh!

(He pokes him again.)

(beat)

Come on man!

(Another poke.)

You know your problem?

(Brendan pokes at Jackie ad lib with each line.)

You don't get out.

Don't get it.

You need to get out...

Need to get out.

Play a little ball.

(He  continues to poke and tickle Jackie.)

Rough it up a little bit.

(poke)

 (Jackie squirms a bit.  He laughs>)

See,

See what I mean,

You need to laugh a little.

Loosen it up.

 

JACKIE:

Ok. OK

 

BRENDAN:

(Brendan grabs Jackie in a hold.)

 Now I got ya....

(beat)

I got ya...

(beat)

You gonna get out a them books?

(Brendan squeezes Jackie tighter.)

Gonna  get outta 'em?

(beat)

Huh?

Huh?

(beat)

Gonna get out??

 

(Repeat ad lib.)

 

JACKIE: (laughing) 

Yea, Yea,

I'll get out 'a 'em.

 

BRENDAN:  (Squeezing lovingly)

No more poems?

_ JACKIE:

No more poems!

(The physical interplay becomes more intimate but still playful. Brendan eventually pins Jackie and sits on him. Ad lib.)

BRENDAN:

No more books?

 

JACKIE:

No more books.

 

BRENDAN:

Sure?

 

JACKIE:

Sure!

 

(PAUSE)

(BRENDAN now has JACKIE in a hold such that they are face to face. There is a moment of realization. A great hesitation.  BRENDAN drops JACKIE and backs off.  There is a moment of mutual discomfort.)

 

 

JACKIE:

You're nuts.

You know that?

 

BRENDAN: (speaking of himself as he lets JACKIE go and  straightens himself.)

Bone head.

(beat)

What can you expect?

___________________-

(BRENDAN disengages himself from JACKIE. )

(Long Pause)

Look, I was thinking. 

Maybe,

Maybe,  I would like to borrow that book.

 

JACKIE: You mean the Whitman?

 

BRENDAN:  Yeh, the one our poem in class came from.

 

JACKIE: Really?

You want to read it?

 

BRENDAN: Yeh, can I?

 

JACKIE: Sure.

Here. ( he hands him the book.)

 

(JACKIE hands BRENDAN the book and exits)

 

 

BRENDAN: ( As Jackie exits.) Hey,

I still owe you a Cherry Coke!.

Invitation still stands.

 

(Lights dim except on Brendan.  BRENDAN  :  To the audience:)

BRENDAN:

I borrowed the book.

I read it.

I read the book.

Morning, noon and night....

I didn't get all of it.

But, there was something about it.

It was different.

Different than just the poem they gave us in school.

I read.

Page by page I read.

At first it wasn't easy.

But I kept on going.

At first there was nothing.

At first there was no point.

But there was something inside me.

Something that made me want to read.

I wanted to read.

To read for him.

To read to tell him

To read to show him

To ....

(beat)

Then, it happened

At a certain point

It happened

At a certain point.

It took me across

Took me across a bridge

Across a bridge

To someplace new.

I felt it.

I felt it inside me.

And, then, in a funny way.

In a funny way,

Things began to make sense.

There was a deeper sound.

A sound inside me.

The words seemed to fit.

The words seemed to by my words.

Words I didn't know I had.

 

(Brendan reads from Calamus)

 

Not  heat flames up and consumes,

 

Not sea-waves hurry in and out,

 

Not the air, delicious and dry, the air of the ripe summer, bears lightly along white down-balls of myriads of seeds,

 

Wafted, sailing gracefully, to drop where they may;

 

Not these—O none of these, more than the flames of me, consuming, burning for his love whom I love!

         5

O none, more than I, hurrying in and out:

 

—Does the tide hurry, seeking something, and never give up? O I the same;

 

O nor down-balls, nor perfumes, nor the high, rain-emitting clouds, are borne through the open air,

 

Any more than my Soul is borne through the open air,

 

Wafted in all directions, O love, for friendship, for you.

 

(WW Not Heat Flames.)

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CHORUS ( the chorus speaks in an echo Woman first, men second.)

 

1. (women) Brick homes.

1. (men) Brick homes.

 

2. Row homes.

2.Row homes.

 

3.Shoulder to shoulder

3.Shoulder t o shoulder.

 

4. Rib to rib.

4. Rib to rib.

 

1. One window out front

1.One window out front.

 

2.One window out back.

2. One window out back

 

3. A view of the alley

 

4. A view of the street

 

1. A white marble stoop.

 

 

PRIEST:

 

These are my people

This is their world.

An honest world

A hard working world

Good people.

Working people

 

------------------------------

(Lights up center stage.  Marie holds the gun.  Light up stage left on Jack.)

 

MARIE:

JACK,  Do we really gotta keep this thing in here?

 

JACK: Don’t start with that again MARIE. You know what I gotta say about it,

 

MARIE: It’s just that…..

 

JACK: It’s just that.

 It’s just that.

 And that’s all there is to it.

 

JACK: (comes down  the steps from the stage and addresses the audience directly.)

 

A gun?  Yeh, I always kept a gun. 

Always. 

 

You know it’s the final word. 

A gun says, “you can’ push me around”. 

“You can’t take what’s mine:”

 

An' that's why they don' like it.


And I ain’t  talking just about your dagos and cullerds  and portarickins.


I'm talkin' about the govvament.

The govvament.

They don' like real men havin' no guns.

Why?

Why?

"Cause they's afraid.

Afraid a real men that make this country.

Jus' look aroun'

Look aroun'  ya I sez.

 

That Rose'velt

That Rose'velt and then that Truman.

Them Democrats

Them Democrats sold us out. 

Sold us out to the Reds, 

Look what it got us.

Look at Germany.

Look at Poland.

I know

The Pollack fellas tol' me all about it.

Look at Korea.

I know. 
Korea


I was there. 

I was there with a wife an' a baby kid.

I saw all that stuff. 

All of it.

Sold us out. 

Sold out.

(beat)

 

But nobody's sellin me out.

Nobody's fuckin me up the ass.

I keep that gun

Keep that gun for when they come

An’ you know they’re comin’

They’re all part of it down there in Washington.

Look what they done to Joe McCarthy last year.

They shut him up.

Shut him up good.

They ain't doin' that  ta me.

 

Yeh, so that’s why I have a gun.

And I have a right to. 

I know it.

You can’t hold that against me.

I talked to the boys about it.

They all agree.

Most of ‘em have guns too.

No crime.

No crime an’ I know it.

 

JACK ( to MARIE)

Put it back MARIE.

Jus’ leave it. 

Jus’ leave it where I left it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SCENE

 

CHORUS

 

Come, said my soul,
Such verses for my Body let us write, (for we are one,)
That should I after return,
Or, long, long hence, in other spheres,
There to some group of mates the chants resuming,
(Tallying Earth's soil, trees, winds, tumultuous waves,)
Ever with pleas'd smile I may keep on,
Ever and ever yet the verses owning--as, first, I here and now
Signing for Soul and Body, set to them my name,


 

__________________________________________________

 

BRENDAN:

So, now.

Now,  that last day.

Let me show you that last day.

You may not want to see that day.

You may not want to face it.

You may not want to face that world

A world you may remember.

A world you chose to forget

But it was my world.

The last day of my world.

The last day.

That last day at school. 

The day that changed it all.

The day that changed everything.

The day when I knew what I was.

(beat)

No,

Not what I was...

(beat)

Who I was.

 

 

SCENE

(We see JACKIE with books in his hand.  He is up stage. The  CHORUS moves from the floor level to the stage as they verbally attack JACKIE. They  engulf him. )

(sarcastic and syrupy)

1.   Hey look, it’s the poem boy.

 

2.   He knows the answers.

 

4.   Got all the answers right.

 

3.   He knows the answers.

 

4.   He reads poems

 

5.   Pretty poems

 

6.   Pretty boy.

(beat)

(Now, viciously.)

7.   Faggot

 

JACKIE: NO!!!

WHY?

Leave me alone!!!



 

8.   YOU Queer!

 

JACKIE: Why can't you???

 

9.   Ass fuck

 

JACKIE: Leave me alone??

 

10.Adam and Eve

 

1. Not Adam and Steve!

 

JACKIE: I'm not!

I'm not!!

 

(We see Jackie falling to the floor., attacked by their words.  JACKIE finds his own words ad lib.  in response to the verbal attacks

The Priest steps from the crowd:

 

PRIEST

This man's  life and works are personally objectionable to us,

This, ….

This  …

homo-erotic!

(beat)

Revolting works

 revolting imagery

revolting language

That is not confined

but permeates...

permeates  the fetid whole."

 

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CHORUS

 

 

1.   Get outta here.

 

4.   Creep

 

5.  Queer

 

6.   Fairy

 

1.  Ass fuck.

 

JACKIE:  No!

 

2.   What a pansy

 

3.   Girly boy

 

4.   Looser

 

1.   We

(stomp)

 

2.   don’t want

(stomp)

 

3.   your kind

(stomp)

 

4.   'round here.

(stomp)


( the cries escalate – they are animal cries.)


 

1 and 2. We don’t want

(They stomp with their feet.))

 

3 and 4 you’re kind

(stomp)

 

1,2,3,4 Round here

(stomp)

(The foot stomping continues with greater ferocity between each line.)

1, 2, 3, 4/. Round here. Round here.

      We don’t  want.

 

1,2 : No faggots

 

3,4,  No Queers.

 

1,2,3,4 Round here.

 

 

CHORUS and JACKIE:

 NO!

(STOMP!)

 

 

 

(BRENDAN has been watching from stage left.  JACKIE rises. BRENDAN moves stage center as JACKIE looks at him and exits SR.)

____________________________________________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SCENE

BRENDAN: (CS))

 

And  where was I that day?

Where was I?

I let him stand there.

I let him stand there for ....

(beat)

Why didn't I ?

Why didn't I stop them?

Why didn't I .....

(beat)

Who were they talking about?

Who ....?

 

(beat)

He gave me.....

(beat)

It wasn't just him.

He's not the only one.

Who were they screaming at?

(beat)

I wanted to join them.

I wanted to .....

(beat)

God damn it!

Why?

 

 

(BRENDAN explodes.)

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!?

(beat)

Why?

Why?

Why do I have to be this.

Tell me why,..,.

Tell me why do I have to ….

Why can’t I be…..

It’s not fair.

It’s not fair.

Who did this?

Is it God who did this?

Is this from God?

 

(BRENDAN looks up to the heavens.)

God?

Did you do this?

Did you?

Why?

Why?

Am I some joke?

What – so you’re playing a joke.

A joke....

(beat)

Answer me!

Damn you,

Answer me!

Am I a joke?

You hear me?

Answer me!

You think it’s funny?

You think it's funny?
Huh! Huh,


Is it funny?

Funny!?

(beat)

You fucked it up

So, fuck you.

Hear me?

Fuck god

(to the audience)

There is no god!

No god!

(beat)

A sick god.

(beat)

I won't be your joke!!

(beat)

This is what there is!

This!

( BRENDAN pounds his chest.)

(beat)

This!

(He beats his temples.)
Me!


Me!

(beat)

Yeh,

God dammit...

Me!

Did you make me?

Did I make me?

Did your god make me?

(beat)

Your god?

your god of justice?

Justice?

Whose justice?

your god of love?

Love??

What do yo know???

(beat)

Love ??

Love for who????

(beat)

Fuck it.

Fuck you !

Fuck your god.!

Fuck the whole  goddamn thing!

There is no god.

There is no reason.

It's just a big joke.

(beat)

Just a big joke.

A big joke!

You hear me?!

And I'm the one they're laughing at!

I'm the fuckin' joker.

A joke,

(beat)

Right?

(beat)

Go ahead.

Tell your jokes.

Tell your faggot jokes.

Spit at the homos.

Beat up on the queers.

Beat their fuckin faces.

Kick their pussy asses.

Go ahead.
Go ahead.


Kick me.

Spit on me

Beat me to death.

(beat)

Yeh,

Go ahead!

I’ll join you,

I’ll beat their fuckin’ faces in.

I’ll kick them in their twisted balls.
I hate those fuckin' faggots.
I hate them!


Do you hear me?

I hate them!

I hate them fuckin' faggots!

Yeh,

I’m with you!

(He beats his head with his fist)

(long pause)

(finally with great calm resolve.)

I hate me.

(half beat)

I’m with you.

_ ________________________________________

 

(lights dim slightly on Brendan as he freezes in place. Lights come up on the chorus as we hear:)

 

 

 

SCENE

 

CHORUS

 

1. O YOU whom I often and silently come where you are,

 

 2. that I may be with you;

(lights black out on Brendan.)

 

3.As I walk by your side, or sit near, or remain in the same room with you,

 

4. Little you know the subtle electric fire that for your sake is playing within me

 (WW)

 

________________________________________________

SCENE

(We see Jackie in the chair to SR of the table. Head in his hands. He is sobbing violently.  He has found his father's gun. He raises the gun in his hands. He loads it ( with the stage cartridge)  He looks at the gun thoughtfully. Then suddenly , BRENDAN appears, SL)

 

 

BRENDAN:

Hey JACKIE!

JACKIE! 

You home?

 

JACKIE:

( we see JACKIE stage right - hearing but ignoring, still looking at the gun.)

 

BRENDAN:

JACKIE! 

Listen.  I need to tell you something!

 

(beat)

 

Look.

I'm sorry.

 

(beat)

 

Really.

 

(beat)

 

I need to talk to you.

 

JACKIE: ( drops the gun on the table.  He moves to his "window" position DSR.)

Yeh, 

What is it?

 

BRENDAN:

Can I come in? 

I just wanna....

 

JACKIE:

Why?

 

BRENDAN:

I just wanna...

 

JACKIE:

What do you want?

 

BRENDAN:

I just wanna tell you,

 

JACKIE:

Tell me what!?

 

BRENDAN:

Just wanna tell you.

I .....

Jackie.

Jackie.

I know,

I think  I really know,

 I know

You must feel alone.

 I know it.

It's hard not to,

Not to feel alone. 

And I want you to know…

Well,,,,

I didn’t know anyone else, anyone else like you who showed me something new.

Who showed me what you …… (Brendan puts his hands on Jackie’s shoulders.)

 

JACKIE: Yeh? Showed you what?

Showed you what?!

Well where the hell were you today?!

(beat)

Go back to your friends on the team.

 

 

BRENDAN:

Well, it’s not like the guys.

The guys on the team

They’re friends. 

You know,

friends on the field.

Laughs in the lockeroom.

Laughs in the hall.

Just hangin’ out in the parking lot. 

Never think much about other things,. 

It's not like ...
Not like with you.


Not like with you and me.

(beat)

 

Can I tell you something?

Can I?

 

(beat)

It may seem stupid

But it's not.

I mean,

Well,

(beat)

You know..

(beat)

You ever look at the stars?

You ever wonder....?

(beat)

 

 

You know,

After practice,

After practice when I’m walking home.

Or  when I'm walkin'

Walking home after the game.

Walking home when it gets dark.

I look up

(beat)

Yeh,

I look up

up into  the night

Into that black

That black

that black with all those spots

Those shining spots....

Yeh,

(semi)

Into the stars.

(semi)

Into the stars.

Yeh, me.

Me.

I like looking at the stars.

I do.

(beat)

And, I've read about them.

I have.

(semi)

I have.

(semi)

Don't laugh.,..

I have.

(beat)

'Cause when you're .....

(semi)

By yourself....

(beat)_

Yeh,

I see those few stars

Those few stars you can see in a city night sky.

I  imagine up there someone like me.

 Someone like me on his way home.

On his way home up there on one of those stars.

He would be my twin.

My twin looking down at me.

A twin.

You ever think about a twin?

 (beat)

Funny isn’t it.

Funny to think that’s he’s looking down.

Because…. Think about it

He’d be looking up too.

.. I wonder if he made the same mistake.

.

 

JACKIE:

Who knows?

Maybe he is out there somewhere.

 

BRENDAN:

And, You know, this book,

This book,

\Well

I tried reading them..

 

I tried some....

……

JACKIE:

You read the poems?

Read them on your own?

 

BRENDAN:

Yeh, I did

I read them.

(beat)

Well,

I read some.

(beat)

Not all ,

But some...

I read them on my own.

And I think

I think I see.

 

JACK:

You do?

What?

What do you see?

 

BRENDAN:

Something.

I think I see something.

 

JACKIE: So, tell me.

 

BRENDAN: I don't really know

 

JACKIE: So, what are you saying?

 

BRENDAN: I don't know.

But .....

 

JACKIE: But what?

Look, Brendan, what do you want?

 

(beat)

 

BRENDAN:

I don't want ....

(beat)

I just want....

(beat)

(pause)

 

 Can I read something?

Read something for you?

 

JACKIE: You want to read for me?

 

BRENDAN: A poem.

 

JACKIE: You're going to read me a poem?

 

BRENDAN: Yeh.  Can I?

 

JACKIE:  I guess. 

Sure. 

Why not?

 

BRENDAN: ( he reads)

            We two boys together clinging,
            One the other never leaving,
            Up and down the roads going, North and South excursions making,
            Power enjoying, elbows stretching, fingers clutching,
           Arm'd and fearless, eating, drinking, sleeping, loving.


                 ( Whitman: Calamus)



JACKIE: I don't remember that one.

 

BRENDAN:

You never read it?

 

JACKIE: I don't remember.

 

BRENDAN:

You don't?

 

JACKIE:

No,

I don't think so...

 

BRENDAN: Well....

(beat)

You know,

I…..

Well….

The two boys…

The two boys "clinging..."

(Pause)

 

JACKIE: Yeh,....

 

BRENDAN:

Well,

I think….

Well…

 

JACKIE:

Well,

What?

 

BRENDAN:

I think….

(beat)

(then suddenly)

I think they’re like you and me.

 

 

JACKIE:

Like you and me?

How do you figure that?

 

BRENDAN:

Well,

You know,

(semi)

You know,

Like those guys today.

You know.

Like what they said to you.

 

JACKIE:

What they said....

What they said...

(semi)

BRENDAN,

They’re wrong.

They may think that,

But, really,

They’re wrong.

 

BRENDAN:

But…

But, I thought you..

I mean the way you like poems and books and reading and things.

I thought..

 

JACKIE:

You thought....?

 

 

BRENDAN: I thought you….

_____________________________________________________________________________

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JACKIE:   they’re wrong.

(Silence)

JACKIE:

I was like you…?

 

BRENDAN:

 (Silence)

 

JACKIE: You mean you're....

 

(beat)

 

BRENDAN:

JACKIE,

You’re not …..

You’re not gonna tell….

JACKIE, I….

I…..

(BRENDAN breaks down in tears.)

No,

No,

No, no, no.

Why?

Why?

(He falls to the floor sobbing violently.)

 

JACKIE:

BRENDAN.

BRENDAN

It doesn’t matter.

Listen to me.

It doesn’t matter.

(violently)

BRENDAN!

Listen!

 

BRENDAN:   No!

No!

Why?

I don’t want this.

I didn’t ask for this.

 

JACKIE:

BRENDAN,

‘Come on.

Come on, man.

It’s ok

It’s  ok

I’m your friend.

(beat)

I’m your friend.

Your friend…

 

(JACKIE bends down to raise up BRENDAN.

They move slowly,

BRENDAN looks directly into JACKIE’s eyes.

He holds him in his gaze.  BRENDAN moves his face close to JACKIE . 

 

BRENDAN: ( silently or very faintly)

 

JACKIE, I .....( BRENDAN wants to say, "I love you.")

 

(at the same time as the above, JACK enters. 

He is coming home after work.

He carries his lunch box and a newspaper rolled up.

JACK reaches center stage.)

 

JACK: What the ………….

 

(slowly) You,,,

God..

Damn….

Queer.

 

I knew it.

I knew it

 

(He sees the gun that JACKIE has left on the table. He picks it up.)

 

I blow your fuckin’ brains out.

 

You goddam queer.

 

No son of mine!

Faggot! 

Homo!

Faggot!

( he raises the gun in his son's face.)

 

 God damn queer!

 

(He aims the gun.)

 

JACKIE:

Dad!

Dad!

 

JACK:

(beat)

No son a mine!

 

SCENE

 

(JACK is immobilized by his own threat.

BRENDAN rushes forward. He grabs the gun.

They all freeze in mutual disbelief.

BRENDAN rushes off with the gun.

The stage goes black . JACK and JACKIE exit.


 

_________________________________________________

 

SCENE

 

BRENDAN rushes back  to DSC in the dark.

 Then, he is lit  center stage.

CHORUS  lit dimly  Main light is on BRENDAN.

We hear the torments:

1.   Faggot

 

2.   Queer.

 

3.   Adam and Eve

 

4.  Not Adam and Steve

 

5.   Get outta here.

 

6.   Creep

 

7.   Queer

 

8.    Fairy

 

2.   What a pansy

 

3.   Girly boy

 

4.   Looser

 

1.   We

(stomp)

 

2.   don’t want

(stomp)

 

3.   your kind

(stomp)

 

4.   'round here.

(stomp)


( the cries escalate – they are animal cries.)


 

ALL:

We don’t want

 

you’re kind

 

Round here

 

Round here.

 

Round here.

 

We don’t  want.

 

1: 2: : No faggots

 

3,4,  No Queers.

 

1,2,3,4 Round here.

 

ALL: Round here

Round here!

 

All: NO!

 

(ESSENTIAL STAGE NOTE: The vowel “O” becomes a wail, a dissonant chord that becomes louder and louder. Members of the CHORUS should assign themselves notes at chromatic levels.)

 

( As the torments grow louder BRENDAN raises the gun to his head. Suddenly – and simultaneously, BRENDAN has the gun in his hand.  He is panting.  He is driven.  Suddenly, as the chorus reaches the desired level, the sound stops, the stage goes black and BRENDAN ends  the torment. 

The gun fires. )

 

 

Immediate Blackout with the shot.

________________________________________________________________

 

SCENE

(slowly timed  pause)

CHORUS ( Lights rise slowly on the CHORUS.)

 

1.The war is completed-the price is paid-the title is settled beyond recall;)

2.Let every one answer! let those who sleep be waked! let none evade!

3. Must we still go on with our affectations and sneaking?

4. Let me bring this to a close-I pronounce openly for a new distribution of
roles;

5.Let that which stood in front go behind! and let that which was behind
advance to the front and speak;

6.Let murderers, bigots, fools, unclean persons, offer new propositions!

7. Let the old propositions be postponed!


 

(PAUSE)

 

CHORUS (slowly)

 

3.Come sit.

4. Sit on the stoop.

1. We ken talk.

(beat)

2. We ken talk.

 

 

(Each character appears on the far left and far right, lit each in their own single beam.)

 

 

JIMMY:(SL) That kid's gonna be a winner

Major leagues

Big time

World's not gonna shoot him in the ass like it done me.

Not gonna get shot in the ass like me

Not like me.

Not like me,

I'll tell ya

 

JACK: (SR)

Lots 'a fellas keep a gun in the house.

Lots 'a fellas.

 

MARIE: (SR next to JACK)

What about my boy?

Him too?

Is he not right?

 

BRENDAN: (appears center stage down.)

Reading from Leaves of Grass:

WHEN I read the book, the biography famous,

 

And is this, then, (said I,) what the author calls a man’s life?

 

And so will some one, when I am dead and gone, write my life?

 

(As if any man really knew aught of my life;

 

Why, even I myself, I often think, know little or nothing of my real life;

         5

Only a few hints—a few diffused, faint clues and indirections,

 

I seek, for my own use, to trace out here.)

(WW)

 

 

 

 

 

Do you know these voices?

Have you heard them?

Our voices.

Your voices

Voices we all hear

 

They are not silent.

 

(JACKIE enters next to BRENDAN.)

 

JACKIE: (reading)

 

                When lilacs last in the door-yard bloom'd

            And the great star early droop'd in the western sky in the night

            I mourn'd - and yet shall mourn with ever-returning spring.

            O ever-returning spring! trinity sure to me you bring;

            Lilac blooming perennial, and drooping star in the west

            and thought of him I love.

(JACKIE turns toward BRENDAN.

Lights down.)

 

END OF PLAY

 

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